tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post4965788417108662972..comments2023-05-21T09:46:36.566-04:00Comments on A Blob of Something Different: Desperation in ShidduchimSomething Differenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-55927926717903036702009-03-09T05:00:00.000-04:002009-03-09T05:00:00.000-04:00Someone please feel free to correct my sources- be...Someone please feel free to correct my sources- because I'm saying this off the top of my head but..<BR/>If I remember correctly, sometimes it is preferable to have women make havdala for themselves- rather than ask a man to do it, if the man has already heard/done havdalah. However, there is disagreement on how women do havdala- just kiddush and the flame or kiddush, flame, and bisamim. I think, R' Moshe holds that women should just do kiddush and flame, no bisamim. <BR/>And the beard thing is a bubbe meisah. (Oh, and I'm positive women can make havdala- it's come up on numerous occasions for me and friends.)nmf #7https://www.blogger.com/profile/02930286227301917330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-67883262693535984382009-03-03T12:01:00.000-05:002009-03-03T12:01:00.000-05:00SI- so nu? What's with the other three boys? Maybe...SI- so nu? What's with the other three boys? Maybe we know someone!<BR/>And wow. You managed to really increase the pressure while simultaneously sounding like a real kallah. LOL. Well, mazel tov again!Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-33100050070264488952009-03-03T11:31:00.000-05:002009-03-03T11:31:00.000-05:00All I can say, when it rains, it pours. I had a li...All I can say, when it rains, it pours. I had a list of four boys when I went out with my chosson, and a VERY nice dry spell before that.<BR/><BR/>As for havdalah...well I just got myself a live-in havdalah maker =)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-13064487500757488972009-03-03T10:28:00.000-05:002009-03-03T10:28:00.000-05:00LVNSM- he probably isn't.LVNSM- he probably isn't.Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-30535659375579875342009-03-03T02:36:00.000-05:002009-03-03T02:36:00.000-05:00My story is I'm walking down the street and see a ...My story is I'm walking down the street and see a nice young frum guy and wonder if he is single :)smbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00425290796472256844noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-26561375447300456382009-03-02T23:55:00.000-05:002009-03-02T23:55:00.000-05:00Dreamer- what's oy vey?Dreamer- what's oy vey?Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-37290984668605322642009-03-02T23:52:00.000-05:002009-03-02T23:52:00.000-05:00oy vey.oy vey.the dreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12822161153919399458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-44733697530633526802009-03-02T23:40:00.000-05:002009-03-02T23:40:00.000-05:00oh, and BM- Yeh, well at least I stopped counting ...oh, and BM- Yeh, well at least I stopped counting the hours....!Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-90817350010738066232009-03-02T23:24:00.000-05:002009-03-02T23:24:00.000-05:00MIM- I can see that being weird. I guess it depend...MIM- I can see that being weird. I guess it depends on how weird the girl was. Havdalah is not generally a weird ceremony though.<BR/><BR/>WYKI- thanks. I like it too. :-D<BR/>I have started some real tumuling here. I must ask my father how we hold. I would imagine we don't make havdalah because when my father went away for business we went to the neighbors for havdalah. <BR/><BR/>Anon- yeh. Nobody ever said it's a fair world. <BR/><BR/>HTTA- wow. You are learned. Again, I'll ask my father. <BR/><BR/>BM- we did have a discussion about him, after all of us got a good look at him and his puple face walking into a room full of eligible young women. We concluded that he might be for one of the girls, but then she blew it. She thought he had left, (and he hadn't) and she started singing (off key, very loudly) shavua tov. Lol. That's when he <I>really</I> turned red.Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-39688088853536690272009-03-02T22:22:00.000-05:002009-03-02T22:22:00.000-05:00I remember learning that women can make havdalah t...I remember learning that women can make havdalah themselves bedieved, but it is way preferable to just have a man do it.<BR/><BR/>But I'm with the shrieky friends here - if the girl has an eligible cousin, I hope she was at least thinking of her friends. Maybe she did and simply came to the conclusion that none seemed suitable. But she should at least be thinking.<BR/><BR/>And please, dear, for your own sake - don't count in weeks. They add up so quickly.Bas~Melechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01511197551248863790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-23795474047033486162009-03-02T20:25:00.000-05:002009-03-02T20:25:00.000-05:00women can say havdala themselves. as far as being ...women can say havdala themselves. as far as being yotze men, im not sure. if its de'rabanan, there may be a problem, but if its de'orayso, there is no problem being motzi men. <BR/>i.e.- friday night kiddush a woman can be yotze men, as its a d'orayso for both of them. shabbos day kiddush, it is a huge machlokes whether women can be motzi men in a mitzva derabanan.<BR/><BR/>and the beard thing is only if you make havdalah on beer (since beer makes facial hair grow- see gemara in moed katan; forgot what daf)harry-er than them allhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07957506180776134351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-60184804822035682182009-03-02T18:16:00.000-05:002009-03-02T18:16:00.000-05:00Great story! Unfortunately, in shidduchim, it is ...Great story! Unfortunately, in shidduchim, it is the opposite of the policy that women are supposed to remain inside their tents. Why do the boys get all the phone calls, while the girls have to go out and make the phone calls?<BR/><BR/>About Havdalah, I think that it's okay for a girl to make Havdalah for herself, but she cannot be motzi other people. But, according to my Sfardi Halachah teacher, the girl will grow a beard.anon#1https://www.blogger.com/profile/18135271347068124730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-66811038598766958062009-03-02T17:40:00.000-05:002009-03-02T17:40:00.000-05:00"WYNI"- Good name for me, I like it.Yes, I underst..."WYNI"- Good name for me, I like it.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I understood that, but I frowned upon the male-centrism of the joke.<BR/><BR/>From a halakhic perspective, there are obviously different spectrums (Orthodox, Conservative, etc). From my own (Orthodox)understanding, it seems girls usually rely on a guy to say it because we suspect that the medieval opinion that women are not totally obligated in the havdalah blessings since it's a positive commandment that's dependant on time may be true. Though if there are no men around (the Sepharadi understanding, at least) is that it is agreed that girls can make those blessings for themselves.הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-57811726014311810572009-03-02T17:28:00.000-05:002009-03-02T17:28:00.000-05:00Something DifferentI believe that anyone can make ...Something Different<BR/><BR/>I believe that anyone can make havdalah. My weirdest Havdalah experience was when I was in pennsylvania. There was this girl, not so frum, who would tell us what we ,smell, say, hold our hands to, drink, next. She felt so proud she knew. And since thats not weird I never had any weird havdalah experiences.Mikeinmidwoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18076346601047947913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-12169468318496093142009-03-02T17:01:00.000-05:002009-03-02T17:01:00.000-05:00WYNI- I am really sorry. I didn't mean to offend a...WYNI- I am really sorry. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I am very interested in Halacha and it's sources. I was merely poking fun of the way girls base their lives around shidduchim. <BR/>Isn't it a matter of Halacha that girls can't make havdalah?Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-13607668776352167062009-03-02T16:56:00.000-05:002009-03-02T16:56:00.000-05:00I don't consider that humorous because it shows a ...I don't consider that humorous because it shows a total separation from and disinterest in halakhah and it's sources..הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-82562052179792036512009-03-02T16:47:00.000-05:002009-03-02T16:47:00.000-05:00(whatever your name is....)- I would venture to gu...(whatever your name is....)- I would venture to guess it's because a girl having a beard is bad for shidduchim.Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-16089089735645134792009-03-02T16:43:00.000-05:002009-03-02T16:43:00.000-05:00....I once had to make Havdalah for a group of gir.......I once had to make Havdalah for a group of girls. Strangest thing in the world. You start thinkig "why can't they just do it themselves?!".הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"טhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04835340110056405173noreply@blogger.com