tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post9191813891514680091..comments2023-05-21T09:46:36.566-04:00Comments on A Blob of Something Different: Running a Red?Something Differenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-58374376728926098702009-02-19T11:00:00.000-05:002009-02-19T11:00:00.000-05:00Insp- ok, that makes sense. Hopefully it won't be ...Insp- ok, that makes sense. Hopefully it won't be an issue...<BR/><BR/>CP- sounds bright enough. :-P You. Are. So. Right. <BR/><BR/>JSB- I can't either imagine being a red light, but I was B"H not put into that position, so I don't want to say. But definitely be glad you don't have the pressure....Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-13908255313151524392009-02-18T13:06:00.000-05:002009-02-18T13:06:00.000-05:00very interesting. I don't have that situation beca...very interesting. I don't have that situation because I don't have an older sister, and my next sister is 12 years old. I do have 2 brothers though, but I think it works differently there. <BR/><BR/>I can say though, when I was 19 I officially started being in "shidduchim". But I got no phone calls or anything till that Dec, right before I turned 20, so that was a whole year of thinking I wish I just went out already so I can know what its like. It probably would have been better if I wouldn't have "started" at 19, cause then I wouldn't have felt let down that I didn't get any phone calls. Although when I was 17 after I graduated HS, tons of people asked me, but of course I said I was too young and that I wasn't dating yet. So I think there shouldn't be an official "starting point" of being in or out. But rather just take it as it goes, if there's a suggestion then look into it. <BR/><BR/>Although now that I have went out on a few shidduch dates, it was nothing exciting, and I didn't enjoy it much. I'd rather just go out with the one I'll marry, so I wouldn't mind waiting with no suggestions. <BR/><BR/>And about the red light thing, I can't picture myself ever being a red light. But I don't mind waiting for red lights, so long as its the rule I'll follow it, as long as nothing else interferes.Jewish Side of Babysitterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15792110478994916775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-43860768974431929182009-02-18T11:48:00.000-05:002009-02-18T11:48:00.000-05:00Since I am neither a red light nor a green, I will...Since I am neither a red light nor a green, I will henceforth dub myself a halogen bulb.<BR/><BR/>All those other light bulbs out there give me a wave! [waves back]<BR/><BR/>Seriously, though, I don't know how it would be for me if I was either waiting or being skipped. All I can say is that in the totality of the vast shidduch system, I'm so glad that G-d is in charge. We'd mess up big time if it were only up to us.corner pointhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15649503886368361215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-63260313007398955812009-02-17T20:47:00.000-05:002009-02-17T20:47:00.000-05:00SD- I don't know, I don't know what hashems plans ...SD- I don't know, I don't know what hashems plans are. Let's just say it's highly unlikely;)<BR/><BR/>I would probably be hurt if my sister would skip me. On the other hand, I already gave the "go-ahead" for my brother. It all depends on the situation though.Inspiredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04165851959757151543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-75911723383572982532009-02-17T18:35:00.000-05:002009-02-17T18:35:00.000-05:00HS- nah, seems like everyone feels that being the ...HS- nah, seems like everyone feels that being the red is harder. And don't feel bad. You didn't hold her back from getting engaged. Obviously it wasn't bashert yet. <BR/><BR/>Zeesekeit- your a million percent right. I'm trying to focus on that right now. Enjoying the pros of single-hood and not letting the pressure get to me.Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-76010873291325833742009-02-17T11:21:00.000-05:002009-02-17T11:21:00.000-05:00Being that I was neither a "red light" or waiting ...Being that I was neither a "red light" or waiting for my "green light" to come, I can't really answer the question...But I CAN say...I wish I had an excuse to wait around...Those who are "good to go" have a pressure to go quickly too....I mean otherwise ppl say - "If she's such a good girl, why is she still around?" So enjoy life while you're not commited to caring for a spouse...!<BR/><BR/>As far as looking over your shoulder at who's watching you - CHILL! Whatever is bashert will happen! you can watch your back/image so carefully and end up marrying someone whose family you new since you're twelve! RELAX, be yourself, and enjoy!Zeeskeithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02571634922402643755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-32217840200516128262009-02-17T09:34:00.000-05:002009-02-17T09:34:00.000-05:00I'm hesitant to join in the discussion because I a...I'm hesitant to join in the discussion because I am kind of objective. I am a red light so of course I'll say it's harder to be one. I did give my sister the go-ahead a while ago and even with the "green light", she remains unattached as of yet. It's all in Hashem's Hands and being a "red light" or "green light" is really irrelevant to the master plan.<BR/>I feel terrible though for having held back my sister as long as I did...halfsharedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08897983346646333294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-44762061346884327622009-02-17T01:13:00.000-05:002009-02-17T01:13:00.000-05:00Anon- Oh here's her number: 1-800-PERFECT. I under...Anon- Oh here's her number: 1-800-PERFECT. I understand her too, a million percent. I don't want to skip her. I honestly don't. If the time for me to get married is before the right time for her, then Hashem will orchestrate it. <BR/><BR/><BR/>TB-That must be hard. I am starting to think being a red light is a lot harder....<BR/><BR/>Insp- How do you know they won't? How would you feel if they would want to?<BR/><BR/>Anon1-You are right. There is no use getting scared, as it will change nothing. IY"H we shouldn't need to worry about any of this!<BR/>:)Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-64009259962849758372009-02-17T00:30:00.000-05:002009-02-17T00:30:00.000-05:00I was fine with having a red light. It gave me a ...I was fine with having a red light. It gave me a chance to go to school and make some sense out of my life before entering shidduchim.<BR/><BR/>I think it also has to do with the amount of space between siblings. With my older sister, she was only two years older than me. I have a younger sister now who's four years younger than me, and going to seminary next year. Mostly I'm okay with it, but sometimes I do get scared, and have to remind myself that there's Someone bigger and better than me running the show.anon#1https://www.blogger.com/profile/18135271347068124730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-89946515581253295692009-02-16T22:44:00.000-05:002009-02-16T22:44:00.000-05:00Firstly, none of the situations are bad. For me, w...Firstly, none of the situations are bad. <BR/>For me, waiting for a red light was definitely more of a carefree, worry-free time than being a red light. And as for keeping up my younger sibs, I'm cool with that, maybe cause I know they won't go before me...;)Inspiredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04165851959757151543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-62331052212953945202009-02-16T21:34:00.000-05:002009-02-16T21:34:00.000-05:00i had always thought that my sister would wait for...i had always thought that my sister <I>would</I> wait for me but my mother said no. that she'll date too. and won't wait.<BR/><BR/>so that's what causes me to feel pressuredtembowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02041219202486067572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-32104106275355850302009-02-16T20:34:00.000-05:002009-02-16T20:34:00.000-05:00Sure, I wouldnt mind having a chat with MP. How ca...Sure, I wouldnt mind having a chat with MP. How can I get in touch with her? BTW, I haven't always been so easy going about letting my sister go first. But the longer I'm in shidduchim, the more obvious it becomes that nothing is in my control. I understand where MP is coming from and I can't judge her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-54365922709724622882009-02-16T20:19:00.000-05:002009-02-16T20:19:00.000-05:00Anon- do you wanna have a talk with MP? Trust me, ...Anon- do you wanna have a talk with MP? Trust me, if there are two sisters looking for opposites it's me and MP... I don't know what the point is... To keep me from having to be in shidduchim. <BR/><BR/>TB- what if you are still single when she comes back? Will she wait for you?Something Differenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17225114844104235510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-48499441714435833262009-02-16T19:00:00.000-05:002009-02-16T19:00:00.000-05:00it's an interesting analogy, SD. i never thought o...it's an interesting analogy, SD. i never thought of it like that...<BR/>i have a sister who is in seminary so there's always this thought in my mind, "i hope i get married before she comes home because then maybe she'll get married before me." i really don't want that to happen! but i guess i have to accept it if that's His Master Plan. but who knows?? i wish it didn't have to be this way and this pressurizingtembowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02041219202486067572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7776004322644714661.post-32414692387302832242009-02-16T18:17:00.000-05:002009-02-16T18:17:00.000-05:00I think i'm the *blinking* red light. I have no pr...I think i'm the *blinking* red light. I have no problem letting my younger sister go ahead of me as long as she "stops, looks both ways, and then proceeds with caution" I know i'll get married at the right time, and she'll get married at her right time (regardlesss of if i'm married or not) My sister and I are totally different and we aren't even remotely looking for the same type of boy, so what would I gain by making her wait?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com