Monday, March 30, 2009

Top Ten Reasons I am Glad I Cleaned Out My Desk Drawer For Pesach: A Pictorial Guide

(Please excuse the picture quality. These were taken on my cell phone...)

1) Percocet: Somewhere there is a nurse who deserves to have her nursing license suspended. Well, I don't know all the rules, but what she did can't be right. I was in the ER for something really painful, and the doctor prescribed two percocet for the pain. She came with the two pills, but offered a suggestion: take one, and save the other for when it wears off and you REALLY need it. Great suggestion, even if it WAS illegal.
So I got home, and was pretty much I stuck the percocet in 
my drawer and almost didn't find it. And I know that they say "When in doubt throw it out" but when I first saw it I thought it was a solitary sufafed or something. I almost threw it out, but noticed the name: oxycodone. I couldn't believe it. I almost threw out a treasure! 
And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

2) Bill Snatcher:
This is a nifty, yet innocent looking little gadget. But it's brilliance is extraordinary. It has a little retractable (invisible) string, that has a little fastener at the end of it. Attach a dollar and you're ready for some fun. You stretch the string out, and rest the dollar on the floor. You wait for some unsuspecting bystander to pass. They see a dollar bill on the ground, unclaimed. They stoop down to pick it up, and suddenly-whoosh! You release the cord, bringing the dollar up to your hand. You smile sweetly at your victim, and walk on. Awesome! All cuz of this nifty little 
gadget. And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

3) A key to my workplace:
I don't plan to quit any time in the near future, but if I would decide to, I would most likely have to give this back. And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

4) Seat Saver:
This is one of the greatest things I have ever owned. It is a real metal spoon with a fake (but astonishingly real looking) bit of melted ice cream attached. It's called a seat saver because of one of it's great functions: you can save yourself a seat in a crowded auditorium by placing this on the seat. I have made some great use of it over the years. I remember a Purim shtick or two that involved the seat saver. I also put it on the kitchen floor one time for the benefit of a workman we had in there. Thank heavens it is only fake, cuz he picked it up and put it into the fleishig sink! It's also great for bedikas chametz. My father comes into my room, sees the strategically placed seat saver, and wonders out loud if my bedroom has been cleaned for pesach. ;) Its possibilities are endless, yet it was lost in a drawer. And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!  

5) A 39 cent stamp and a 4 cent stamp:
This may not look like a lot, but its enough to mail a letter with a penny to spare. Don't scoff! With the economy the way it is these days.... And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

6) A social security card: 
I am not all that sure what I needed it for, but I can't help feeling that this will come in handy one day. And so I blurred it all out for your viewing (dis)pleasure. (ETA: After blurring it sufficiently I got cold feet and decided to post somebody else's instead.)
And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

7) $14.33 in coins:
I was pretty shocked at this one. I hate coins, and I am usually the one who is counting our exact change so I don't have to shlep coins around. Which is why I was pretty shocked that I had so many. Even more exciting than winning the lottery! And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

8) Band-aids: 
These are not just ANY band aids. These are tweety band aids! They are left over from my days as a camp counselor, because three year old ailments can almost always be cured with a cute band aid. (Isn't it lovely to be three?) I am not yet sure how these are going to come in useful, but I'm sure they will. And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

9) Tangle Toy:
This is the world's best toy. I can't go into more details, so you'll just have to go and buy one for yourself. And no, I don't get a commision. And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

10) Mini Poker Key Chain: Now I can't figure out why I have this. I really don't think I have ever felt a need for a fully-functional mini poker table complete with a mini deck of cards and poker chips. But the good news is, now that I've found this, I will be able to play poker whenever the urge hits.
And I wouldn't have remembered I had it if I hadn't cleaned my room for pesach!

(Note to self: No need to buy any pens for the next 15 years.)


Originally From Brooklyn said...

You have a lot of cool stuff, I should get myself the seat saver though I just kick people out when I want them to move ;). As for the social security card, if you one day get pulled over for being an illegal Mexican immigrant you can prove otherwise.

I had better go clean out my drawer and see what I can find, probably unwashed socks.

little sheep said...

that's IT??? aftera all that work, only ten things? when do we get to hear what the next ten on the list were?

G6 said...

WOW! You have the coolest junk!!!
If I had stuff like that, cleaning for Pesach would be fun for me too.
But all I find are ripped pantyhose, orphaned socks, chapstick missing the covers and REAL dirty spoons :(

Something Different said...

CIB- Yes, I do. And this was after throwing out garbage bags full.
Why would a social security card be more helpful than a license?

LS- well maybe if I hadn't spent so much time IMing, learning about meta tags, and photographing all the interesting stuff I was finding I would have gotten past the top drawer. And don't forget, this was just the interesting stuff. I also found upwards of 50 pens, 6 pads of post it notes, a roll of double sided tape, a roll of invisible tape, a roll of magnetic tape, an 'I'm a poshiter yid' bumper sticker, an empty 512 MB flash drive, an ipod cable, silly putty, a bottle of elmer's glue, 3 apology letters, 2 empty-:(-wallets, a quick reference guide to 2 insulin pumps ago, the lid to a hand painted mug ;), three mostly empty whiteouts, a screwdriver, a note pad that says LOL on each paper, my good set of markers (which means my little sister got back the one I "borrowed"), 2 lip-glosses, a mascara, a mini hand cream (mostly empty) a mini case of q-tips, a refill lead, a stamp with my name on it, a mascara, a chap stick, a package of sudafed, a mini picture frame, a couple of rubber bands....should I go on?

oh and more than 200 used test strips!

G6- Please...I find plenty of that stuff too. *rolls eyes*

little sheep said...

ok, ok, you're excused. only cuz of the meta tags. and cuz you found the cover of a handpainted travel mug ;)

Mikeinmidwood said...

that seat saver has got to be something good.

tembow said...

this is one of your coolest posts!

Something Different said...

LS- and the cover doesn't fit very tightly at all. :-( ttalpy useless as a mug. Good thing I was planning to use it to store a 15 year supply of pens. ;)

MIM- oh it is, it is. And best of all, it was FREE!

TB- WOW. I'm flattered. Are you planning to ask for a favor now?! ;)

In and to anyone who may be interested... I missed a quarter. That brings me up to $14.58 if I know my math (which I might well not...)

Vincetastic said...

This is a really great top ten list, where do you find all this stuff? You can post this to our site and then link back to your site. We are looking for top ten lists and our users can track back to your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

Shorty said...

You have a far more interesting desk than i do!

Fortunately, I am leaving this job before Pesach, so i don't have to clean out the x+ years of other people's random shtuff!


Inspired said...

Get back to work!

Sally Hazel said...

A fun post and cool stuff! I love the seat saver idea( though something tells me I'd forget to bring it with me most of the time).

nmf #7 said...

Oooh, lots of random stuff- cool! It's absolutely amazing what you can find.
And the SS card might be useful one day, if it's not all gone by then.

Something Different said...

Vin- uh?

Shorty- nah this isn't my desk at work. I might be odd, but not odd enough to have all of this at work. :-O

Insp- do I hafta?!? ;)

SH- yeah I don't bring it with me everywhere. And I forgot about it for forever. I am glad I found it before bedikas chometz tho cuz it's really fun. (Though I'm not sure how my father forgets it each year all over again.)

NMF- yeah. I am a random person. ;) and why would my SS card be gone by the time I need it?

Anonymous said...

I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is hysterical! Also, I want the seat saver. Did you make it or buy it?

Something Different said...

Freyda- thanks for the compliment! ;)
I got it years ago. I totally don't remember where or when or anything. It's one of those things that I've always had... I've seen some others with the same idea (a spilled over coffee cup, a leaky ketchup packet) but this is by far the most realistic looking I've ever seen.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

I like the idea of this post!

1- so your gonna use that pill?
I still have my bottle of pain killers I got when I got my root canal when I was 17, but I don't plan on using it, they have expiration dates I think?

2- very cool gadget there!

3- but don't you need the key to go to work now? and I lost my keys for the house that I babysat by last year, and she never asked for it back, figuring I would keep it just in case she needed me to come to her house for any reason. I haven't told her I lost it though...

4- I remember going to a friend's house who had a bunch of those types of things all over the house, it was really cool! I like the ice cream spoon one though! Now I want to get one of those!

6- isn't a social security card important? why wouldn't you need it? I remember when I worked, I used to look at the employers social security cards and type up the info on it.

7- really cool that you had so much!

8- ahh I see the tweety through the band aid wrapper!

10- I've never played poker before. (Yay, I found another thing to add to my list)

about pens, for some reason I only like specific types, so I buy a few, and keep track of them, I have 2 pens and that's it!

Something Different said...

1- sure. I have every intention of it.
2- yep! :-D
3- nah, it's never locked...I got it JIC
4- you......and a lot of other people. :-p
6- yeah, I'm sure it'll come in handy one day.
7- you bet! Ice cream anyone? :-p
8- :-)
10- rofl

Bas~Melech said...

I've found 20 expired or used up metro cards so far... and to think I just threw out about 5 last week; I could have expanded the collection!

Something Different said...

B~M- Silly! you shoulda saved em! By next erev pesach you can re-wallpaper your room!

(Should I bother asking why you are up now?? ;-P)

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

3- o, right I didn't think of it, by me when I worked I was the only one there, so I had to open up.
I almost forgot about your acronyms :-) But I figured this one out. Actually reminds me of something, this guy made a facebook account and for FB you need a real name so he chose "Justin Case" when you first look at it, it looks like a real name, then you break it up, so it was a funny smart choice of words.

7- lol, reminds me of when I read B4S's post and they got together to have ice cream after they counted up their points or something.

little sheep said...

JSB, when i opened my facebook account, i just put in little as my first name, sheep as my last name. it went through just fine. you just have to do it right :D

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

Little Sheep: I guess their not so strict with the rules then. I tried to search for little sheep and was surprised that there was more than one result!

Jessica said...

You have some awesome gadgets. I wish I could find cool stuff when I clean, but that would mean I'd actually have to own cool things to begin with...

little sheep said...

there was more than one little sheep? that's annoying! i want to be the only one!

Something Different said...

JSB and LS- enjoy your discussion. Anything to drive up my comments... :-p

Jessica- yeah, I do have some pretty cool stuff. It takes pesach cleaning to remind myself of it though... ;)

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

Jessica made a good point, you have to have the cool gadgets to begin with. I think I'm gonna have to buy some to be able to find next year Pesach, lol

Something Different said...

JSB- well, that USB powered vacuum cleaner should qualify... ;)

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

that's exactly what I was thinking when I typed that comment!

Something Different said...

JSB- ;)