Today's Top Ten Tuesday post is dedicated to all creeps who think that texting in public is worse than talking on the phone. Observe from these actual overheard statements just how wrong they are:
10) "I am having such trouble with my shmuly lately. His teachers are complaining of his behavior too..."
9) "My baby kept me up all night last night. I'm afraid she is coming down with something."
8) "My bank account is in overdraft again."
7) "Well the therapist thinks I'm making nice progress on it."
6) "I can't wait for the day I can tell my boss to go to ****"
5) "My husband is really mad at me today."
4) "I trust you not to repeat this to anyone, but my daughter is going on her first ever date donight!"
3) "Baruch Hashem, they got the results of my father's biopsy. The tumor is benign."
2) "But that stems from the psychiatric issues I have..."
1) "She doesn't want anyone to know yet, but she just found out she is pregnant."
What's the most private or embarrassing thing you've ever heard in public?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
The Simplicity of Old Age
My grandfather came to my house for supper. He's kind of hard of hearing, so conversation is louder than usual, and I had a headache.
I turn the conversation back to a topic that interests me: the iPad. We sat deliberating the various pros and cons of this new gadget, and grandpa was all lost. He asked what we were talking about, so my mother attempted to explain.
"The iPad is similar to the iPod, but it's bigger and has more capabilities."
Grandad was still lost. "Whats an iPod?"
I disappeared under the table in a fit of giggles. Mom kicked me and tried to explain. "It's a device that plays music."
He didn't seem to appreciate this. "I have a cassette player at home, it also plays music."
I had to defend my turf. I started to explain. I held up my iPod touch. "This little thing can hold your entire cassette collection."
My grandfather didn't get it. "But how could you get cassettes onto that?"
I explained. My mother explained. My father explained. My sister explained. At last, grandpa seemed to get it.
He nodded. "This thing does sound impressive." All around the table, heads nodded in agreement. Granddad continued. "In fact, if they keep on perfecting that thing-" he glanced over at my touch. "It might one day be as good as a cassette!"
I turn the conversation back to a topic that interests me: the iPad. We sat deliberating the various pros and cons of this new gadget, and grandpa was all lost. He asked what we were talking about, so my mother attempted to explain.
"The iPad is similar to the iPod, but it's bigger and has more capabilities."
Grandad was still lost. "Whats an iPod?"
I disappeared under the table in a fit of giggles. Mom kicked me and tried to explain. "It's a device that plays music."
He didn't seem to appreciate this. "I have a cassette player at home, it also plays music."
I had to defend my turf. I started to explain. I held up my iPod touch. "This little thing can hold your entire cassette collection."
My grandfather didn't get it. "But how could you get cassettes onto that?"
I explained. My mother explained. My father explained. My sister explained. At last, grandpa seemed to get it.
He nodded. "This thing does sound impressive." All around the table, heads nodded in agreement. Granddad continued. "In fact, if they keep on perfecting that thing-" he glanced over at my touch. "It might one day be as good as a cassette!"
Thursday, February 4, 2010
But I WANT It!
I was standing in my married friend's apartment, doing my hair. (Don't ask and don't ask.) She held her squirming baby, shmoozing with me and watching for bits I missed. At some point, the baby got bored of talk about jobs and shidduchim, and decided to take back the conversation. She leaned over and reached for the iron.
I jumped back, scared she'd get hurt. She reached further, but I just moved further away. She started to cry. Her mother tried distracting her with something else, but she wanted none of it. All she wanted was my piping hot hair iron.
The baby wailed, and her mother and I marveled at the phenomenon. I wrote a poem along these lines once, but this mashal is so awesomely clear now.
How often do we stretch out our hands, begging Hashem for something? How often do we cry and plead for a specific request? How many times have we refused to he placated with anything else? All that while, Hashem is holding it as far away from us as possible.
We only see the "no," we miss the "no my child, I don't want you to get hurt."
I jumped back, scared she'd get hurt. She reached further, but I just moved further away. She started to cry. Her mother tried distracting her with something else, but she wanted none of it. All she wanted was my piping hot hair iron.
The baby wailed, and her mother and I marveled at the phenomenon. I wrote a poem along these lines once, but this mashal is so awesomely clear now.
How often do we stretch out our hands, begging Hashem for something? How often do we cry and plead for a specific request? How many times have we refused to he placated with anything else? All that while, Hashem is holding it as far away from us as possible.
We only see the "no," we miss the "no my child, I don't want you to get hurt."
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Top Ten Apps I Couldn't Live Without
This week's Top Ten Tuesday is dedicated to my friend, who just bought an iPod touch. She wants to know which apps to get, so here goes:
10) Siddur- there are a number of em on the app store, but the siddur app from Rusty Brick, while not cheap, is excellent. You can chose from any nusach, including some I never heard of. The tefillos are very clear and organized, and it is calendar sensitive, i.e. It will automatically include yaaleh veyavo on rosh chodesh. And hey, it even has shabbos and yom tov davening!
Nah, I tricked you. Haha!
9) Cuberunner Lite- I. Love. This. Game. Firstly, it's free, so IMO nobody is entitled to complain, but this game is just plain awesome. What I love about it is the simplicity. No complicated graphics or controls; it's just you and your accelerometer.
8) IM+ - I have a love hate relationship with this app. I always forget to sign myself out, then I have people mad at me for ignoring them, but in general, it's excellent for making sure you are more connected than bubby ever thought possible.
7) Dictionary- I'd venture a guess that the app store has a bunch of these, but I use the one from dictionary.com. One app has the dictionary and theasaurus, plus no wifi connection is required for basic functions.
6) Flood-It- This game is great for mindless playing. Unlike accelerometer games, which you can't use in a crowded waiting room, this game is totally non obtrusive. It also doesn't need too much concentration, which makes it ideal for boring phone conversations. Er, I shouldn't admit to that, should I?
5) Unblock Me Lite- Rush hour minus the complex graphics. Fun, and more importantly, free.
4) Calorie Check- in case anyone was wonderig why a person like me, who needs to have accurate carb-counts for food, doesn't have a carb counting book in my (duffel) bag. This handy app is the reason. Without a wifi connection, the user can get calorie, fat and carbohydrate information and a whole ton of foods.
3) Easy Relax- I don't rememer if this was free for a limited time only, or it's always free, but it's pretty cool. Think, free customizable sound machine. [super fast voice]iPhone or iPod touch not included. Some restrictions may apply. See app store for details.[/super fast voice]
2) Face Melter- this is one of the few apps I actually shelled out my hard earned cash for, but it was worth every penny. Call me cruel, but there is nothing quite as satisfying as puffing up MP's cheeks and distorting her Perfect bump. :-D
1) Blogwriter Lite- this, my friends, is the reason BOSD is still in existance. It's the entire secret behind my blog. Nobody seems to believe me, but 99 percent of posts get typed up right here in this very app. In fact, I live in total fear of my iPod getting lost, simply because I have about 50 or 60 different blog posts in varying degrees of incompleteness, stored nowhere but Blogwriter Lite.
Which apps do you use?
10) Siddur- there are a number of em on the app store, but the siddur app from Rusty Brick, while not cheap, is excellent. You can chose from any nusach, including some I never heard of. The tefillos are very clear and organized, and it is calendar sensitive, i.e. It will automatically include yaaleh veyavo on rosh chodesh. And hey, it even has shabbos and yom tov davening!
Nah, I tricked you. Haha!
9) Cuberunner Lite- I. Love. This. Game. Firstly, it's free, so IMO nobody is entitled to complain, but this game is just plain awesome. What I love about it is the simplicity. No complicated graphics or controls; it's just you and your accelerometer.
8) IM+ - I have a love hate relationship with this app. I always forget to sign myself out, then I have people mad at me for ignoring them, but in general, it's excellent for making sure you are more connected than bubby ever thought possible.
7) Dictionary- I'd venture a guess that the app store has a bunch of these, but I use the one from dictionary.com. One app has the dictionary and theasaurus, plus no wifi connection is required for basic functions.
6) Flood-It- This game is great for mindless playing. Unlike accelerometer games, which you can't use in a crowded waiting room, this game is totally non obtrusive. It also doesn't need too much concentration, which makes it ideal for boring phone conversations. Er, I shouldn't admit to that, should I?
5) Unblock Me Lite- Rush hour minus the complex graphics. Fun, and more importantly, free.
4) Calorie Check- in case anyone was wonderig why a person like me, who needs to have accurate carb-counts for food, doesn't have a carb counting book in my (duffel) bag. This handy app is the reason. Without a wifi connection, the user can get calorie, fat and carbohydrate information and a whole ton of foods.
3) Easy Relax- I don't rememer if this was free for a limited time only, or it's always free, but it's pretty cool. Think, free customizable sound machine. [super fast voice]iPhone or iPod touch not included. Some restrictions may apply. See app store for details.[/super fast voice]
2) Face Melter- this is one of the few apps I actually shelled out my hard earned cash for, but it was worth every penny. Call me cruel, but there is nothing quite as satisfying as puffing up MP's cheeks and distorting her Perfect bump. :-D
1) Blogwriter Lite- this, my friends, is the reason BOSD is still in existance. It's the entire secret behind my blog. Nobody seems to believe me, but 99 percent of posts get typed up right here in this very app. In fact, I live in total fear of my iPod getting lost, simply because I have about 50 or 60 different blog posts in varying degrees of incompleteness, stored nowhere but Blogwriter Lite.
Which apps do you use?
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Chill Out
In recent years, as tu b'shvat came closer, a flurry of excitement passed through my friends and classmates.
"Tu b'shvat higiah, chag labachurot!"
Or, more direct:
"The freezer (clap)
Is open (clap)
The freezer (clap)
Is open (clap)
Go out (clap clap)
Don't get cold feet!"
Some were decidedly less cheesy. A simple "Its tu b'shvat, where will you be tonight?" And of course, people made some heavy assumptions. I'm sure every female reading this has gotten both the text and the email of the poorly photoshopped yeshivah guys popping out of the freezer. The wedding music that always accompanied this text/email made the expectations pretty clear.
And people always rushed to provide.
The first year post seminary, a huge number of girls got engaged within the first month after tu b'shvat. The second year, too, saw a bunch of engagements littering the front page of only simchas. But then the numbers start to dwindle. After a while, a girl gets older. She looks at the newly defrosted yingelach as cute little boys. And when I say cute, I mean it purely in the little kid sense.
If the folks at NASI will just excuse me for saying this, I am pretty sure I'm a little too old to get excited by the freezer door opening.
I won't deny it. My father asked me to pass the fruit plate on shabbos. I told him it was too heavy. "Just tell me what you want me to pass you."
My father looked at the plate. "I want some dates."
My answer was so obvious, everyone looked at me expectantly, waiting to hear it. "Me too."
But somehow, I just don't see him as still being partially frozen...
"Tu b'shvat higiah, chag labachurot!"
Or, more direct:
"The freezer (clap)
Is open (clap)
The freezer (clap)
Is open (clap)
Go out (clap clap)
Don't get cold feet!"
Some were decidedly less cheesy. A simple "Its tu b'shvat, where will you be tonight?" And of course, people made some heavy assumptions. I'm sure every female reading this has gotten both the text and the email of the poorly photoshopped yeshivah guys popping out of the freezer. The wedding music that always accompanied this text/email made the expectations pretty clear.
And people always rushed to provide.
The first year post seminary, a huge number of girls got engaged within the first month after tu b'shvat. The second year, too, saw a bunch of engagements littering the front page of only simchas. But then the numbers start to dwindle. After a while, a girl gets older. She looks at the newly defrosted yingelach as cute little boys. And when I say cute, I mean it purely in the little kid sense.
If the folks at NASI will just excuse me for saying this, I am pretty sure I'm a little too old to get excited by the freezer door opening.
I won't deny it. My father asked me to pass the fruit plate on shabbos. I told him it was too heavy. "Just tell me what you want me to pass you."
My father looked at the plate. "I want some dates."
My answer was so obvious, everyone looked at me expectantly, waiting to hear it. "Me too."
But somehow, I just don't see him as still being partially frozen...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Respect Please?
I haven't been this annoyed in a while. I walked out of the wedding, exausted. It's late and I came straight from work. I just want to get home. My car is in a parking lot which is insanely crowded. I reach my car and want to scream. I suffice with an "Oh man! What an idiot."
The lady walking to the next car gives me a look. I guess I said it out loud. Well he is an idiot. There is about three inches of space between my car and the idiot who parked to my left. I squeeze by on my side, but when I open the door there isn't even enough room for me to stick my wristlet in.
I certainly can't get in.
It's late. I'm tired. It's the last thing I want to do now, but I go to the other side of my car. I open the passenger door and climb over. My wedding gear is not made for climbing. This is hard. I am mad.
I understand that the parking lot is crowded, but I just can't get over that lack of kavod habrios. Assuming they're right about Barbie's dimensions being physically impossible for an actual person, NOBODY could have gotten through. And that just seems wrong to me. If you can't leave enough space for the other car's driver to get in, don't park there. Oh, and did I mention how hard it was to get out of the spot?
[/rant]
The lady walking to the next car gives me a look. I guess I said it out loud. Well he is an idiot. There is about three inches of space between my car and the idiot who parked to my left. I squeeze by on my side, but when I open the door there isn't even enough room for me to stick my wristlet in.
I certainly can't get in.
It's late. I'm tired. It's the last thing I want to do now, but I go to the other side of my car. I open the passenger door and climb over. My wedding gear is not made for climbing. This is hard. I am mad.
I understand that the parking lot is crowded, but I just can't get over that lack of kavod habrios. Assuming they're right about Barbie's dimensions being physically impossible for an actual person, NOBODY could have gotten through. And that just seems wrong to me. If you can't leave enough space for the other car's driver to get in, don't park there. Oh, and did I mention how hard it was to get out of the spot?
[/rant]
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Top Ten People Who Should Be Banned From Computer Use
Today's Top Ten Tuesday is neither funny nor creative. It is merely an expression of my frustration at the numerous idiots in my life. Feel free to join me on the bandwagon and tell us who you don't think should be allowed to operate a computer.
10) Mr. Obsessive-Compulsive-Email-Forwarder
9) Ms. This-This-Is-Unbelievable-Can-I-Really-Get-Pictures-Of-My-Grandkids-On-Here?
8) Miss You-Dont-Need-To-Tell-Me-What-To-Do-I-Took-Computers-In-High-School-So-I-Know-What-I'm-Doing
7) Mr. I-Can-Read-The-Manual-And-Figure-It-Out-It-Might-Just-Take-A-While
6) Mr. DIY-from-every-geeky-website-on-the-world-wide-web.
5) Mr. I-found-the-coolest-thing-on-the-Internet-and-what-do-you-mean-you-found-it-three-or-four-years-ago-it's-totally-cool!
4) Mr. My-computer-has-a-more-sophisticated-processor-than-yours-does-and-it-also-has-a-bigger-hard-drive-than-your-computer-does.
3) Dr. Wow-These-newfangled-inventions!-this-is-so-much-faster-than-my-first-PC-it-had-a-64k-harddrive-and-I-thought-THAT-was-a-lot!-And-it-was-so-much-bigger-than-this-is!
2) Mr. Wait-show-me-how-you-just-did-that!
1) Miss OMG-LOL-I-must-update-my-facebook-status-and-tweet-it-so-everyone-can see!
Do you know these people too?
10) Mr. Obsessive-Compulsive-Email-Forwarder
9) Ms. This-This-Is-Unbelievable-Can-I-Really-Get-Pictures-Of-My-Grandkids-On-Here?
8) Miss You-Dont-Need-To-Tell-Me-What-To-Do-I-Took-Computers-In-High-School-So-I-Know-What-I'm-Doing
7) Mr. I-Can-Read-The-Manual-And-Figure-It-Out-It-Might-Just-Take-A-While
6) Mr. DIY-from-every-geeky-website-on-the-world-wide-web.
5) Mr. I-found-the-coolest-thing-on-the-Internet-and-what-do-you-mean-you-found-it-three-or-four-years-ago-it's-totally-cool!
4) Mr. My-computer-has-a-more-sophisticated-processor-than-yours-does-and-it-also-has-a-bigger-hard-drive-than-your-computer-does.
3) Dr. Wow-These-newfangled-inventions!-this-is-so-much-faster-than-my-first-PC-it-had-a-64k-harddrive-and-I-thought-THAT-was-a-lot!-And-it-was-so-much-bigger-than-this-is!
2) Mr. Wait-show-me-how-you-just-did-that!
1) Miss OMG-LOL-I-must-update-my-facebook-status-and-tweet-it-so-everyone-can see!
Do you know these people too?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Fear of the Unknown
I hate to post this, as most of the things that go up on this blog aren't quite so personal, nor are they quite so depressing. But I can't help feeling a little blah about being single.
I was recently at the wedding of a friend and classmate, Chaya. Chaya and I had this little shtick throughout highschool where we called the row we sat in "Row-1." It was basically just a gimmick, something to take the monotony out of eleventh grade peirush tefilla class and tenth grade pirkei avos class. We had some Row-1 games (all masterminded by SD, of course), some Row-1 study sessions (read: SD cramming from Chaya's notes, which somehow got written despite SD's games), and a general feeling of camaraderie as we argued over the electronic Uno game for the boring classes.
Back to Chaya's wedding. I was sitting at the table next to Shana, another member of Row-1. We discussed her impending wedding; I admired her ring; she gushed about her chosson; all was good. Until I mentally began to take stock. Sarala from Row-1 has a one year old baby; Fraidy from Row-1 has a seven month old baby; Esty from Row-1 is expecting; Chaya from Row-1 just tied the knot; and Shana from Row-1 is rapidly transforming into a brido-sapien. Then there is me. Still single.
Don't get me wrong. I love being single. I mean, sure I want to get married, but life now is good. There are multitudes of benefits to being unattached, and I enjoy all of them. But somewhere in the back of my mind lies the gnawing uncertainty; the deep blackness of the unknown; the moments of "when will my turn come?" It's moments like I had on shabbos, while reminiscing about a story when my friends and I said shir hashirim for an "older single" we knew. I found it both sad and amusing that my 15 year old self had found this girl so old. I am older than she was then. Are there high school girls saying shir hashirim for me?
It's moments like phone calls to friends that make me remember how left behind I feel. I look at my watch, then check the time against the nightly learning seder in Lakewood, then think about my guy, and how he must be lonely too. It's moments like I have when I plan an expedition and find it easier to invite friends that are married long enough to leave their husbands behind than try to think of a single friend.
It's moments when I collect money for the next shower, and wonder who will collect money for mine if everyone is too busy changing diapers. It's moments when my married siblings come breezing into the clean, fragrant house an hour before shabbos and compliment me on how delicious the kugel is. I compliment them on their adorable kids, but inside I wonder when I will be the one coming back home as a guest, sporting a troop of adorable little toddlers waiting to be spoiled.
I know my guy is out there. I know my time will come. I don't need chizuk. I don't want reminders of how Hashem is running of the world. I just wanted to share my feelings with you, wondering if anyone else gets these nagging moments of doubt. And I feel better already, so three cheers for blogging-therapy!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Close To Home
"When one man dies it's a tragedy. When a million men die, it's a statistic." -Joseph Stalin
I mentioned this quote in a previous post, but I feel it needs to be repeated here. You see, I am sitting here, thinking about last week's tragic earthquake in Haiti. My first reaction is that it's so far from home, I don't even have the emotional capacity to worry about it. If I want to worry about people in tragic circumstances, there's the family friend who's father is in a coma after being in a car accident last week. There is the neighbor who's wife passed away recently. There is the cousin with a brain tumor. There is plenty of tragedy for me to worry about right here, I don't need to look for depressing things to think about thousands of miles away in a country I have no connection to.
All of that changed on Sunday night. A friend of mine from work called up, frantic. "Did you hear about Yolesha?"
Yolesha is the cleaning woman that works for my company. She's a sweet black woman who always has a smile to share. Just about a week ago she had gone to visit her family in... Oh my gosh. In Haiti.
My voice quivered as I answered my friend. "No...?" I was scared to hear her answer.
"They haven't heard from her since the earthquake. Nobody knows if she's even alive."
I was stunned. Speechless. It hits me. This is what the death toll means. The raw feelings of terror. The nagging feeling of uncertainty. The pit in your stomach. Not once. Hundreds of thousands of times over. Each individual that is missing, that perished, that is injured...this is what it's like. All over the world, people cling to the phones with nervous anticipation. Worrying, waiting, hoping for a phone call that will end the terrifying uncertainty. Hour after hour, day after agonizing day, and the wait continues. Where is Yolesha? Is she ok? Will we ever see her bright smile again? Will we ever hear her call out a cheerful good morning as she gathers her cleaning supplies? Will families ever be reunited? Will people ever see their friends again?
Haiti doesn't see so far away anymore.
(Update: since I wrote this a few days ago, someone heard from Yolesha. She is ok, but most of her family isn't...)
I mentioned this quote in a previous post, but I feel it needs to be repeated here. You see, I am sitting here, thinking about last week's tragic earthquake in Haiti. My first reaction is that it's so far from home, I don't even have the emotional capacity to worry about it. If I want to worry about people in tragic circumstances, there's the family friend who's father is in a coma after being in a car accident last week. There is the neighbor who's wife passed away recently. There is the cousin with a brain tumor. There is plenty of tragedy for me to worry about right here, I don't need to look for depressing things to think about thousands of miles away in a country I have no connection to.
All of that changed on Sunday night. A friend of mine from work called up, frantic. "Did you hear about Yolesha?"
Yolesha is the cleaning woman that works for my company. She's a sweet black woman who always has a smile to share. Just about a week ago she had gone to visit her family in... Oh my gosh. In Haiti.
My voice quivered as I answered my friend. "No...?" I was scared to hear her answer.
"They haven't heard from her since the earthquake. Nobody knows if she's even alive."
I was stunned. Speechless. It hits me. This is what the death toll means. The raw feelings of terror. The nagging feeling of uncertainty. The pit in your stomach. Not once. Hundreds of thousands of times over. Each individual that is missing, that perished, that is injured...this is what it's like. All over the world, people cling to the phones with nervous anticipation. Worrying, waiting, hoping for a phone call that will end the terrifying uncertainty. Hour after hour, day after agonizing day, and the wait continues. Where is Yolesha? Is she ok? Will we ever see her bright smile again? Will we ever hear her call out a cheerful good morning as she gathers her cleaning supplies? Will families ever be reunited? Will people ever see their friends again?
Haiti doesn't see so far away anymore.
(Update: since I wrote this a few days ago, someone heard from Yolesha. She is ok, but most of her family isn't...)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A Postscript
(Pardon me if this post makes no sense. I've just completed writing it and it's forty minutes past my bedtime and I don't think my eyes will stay up long enough to reread it. Which is just as well, cuz I probably wouldn't post this if I reread it.)
I think yesterday's post gave the mistaken impression that I only have ten things in my bag. I don't. I've mentioned before that I am ultra organized, so it's all arranged in cases and things. But I still carry more with me than I should admit to. But I will. So here goes, for the ultimate humiliation, the full contents of my bag:
16 oz hot cup and lid, (unused, I'm proud to say.) a packet of sugar-free hot-cocoa mix, an audio input cable, an orange pepper (I was WONDERING what happened to that!),
A wristlet, containing: seven bobby pins, the piece that fell of of my glasses (can someone please remind me to get it put back on?), a picture of two adorable little girls, a twenty dollar gift certificate to the local seforim store, a check for 14 dollars, a stick of yellow orbit gum, thirty nine dollars and fifty one cents (I suddenly feel very rich. Who wants to go shopping?), a folding pen with my name on it, a package of pink fruit-choice gum.
Back to the bag: a mini package of CVS tissues (unopened. Carrying them is an insurance policy against colds.), a pair of headphones.
A makeup bag containing: a mini tube of advil, a mini tube of Tylenol PM, two mini boxes of raisins, a traveling hair brush, a mini spray bottle of Lysol, a plastic CPR mask, a mini tube of curel hand cream, two sudafed tablets (in case the tissues insurance thing doesn't work, this is a total guarantee), a tube of blistex, a medicated chapstick, an insulin pen needle, four bic pens, two sharpie pens, one ultra fine point point sharpie marker (be impressed. I've graduated from carrying my entire marker collection with me. Why do you look surprised? Doesn't EVERYONE have marker collection?), one purple LePen felt tip pen, One prefilled novolog insulin pen, nine q-tips (again, all unused, you'll be proud to hear), five bandaids, one check (See, I didn't want to shlep around my whole checkbook, that would be totally unnecessary;-), a memory stick pro duo adapter, a package of yellow orbit gum, a folding mirror, nine dollars cash. Whew.
Onto the second makeup bag. (Gosh, if you wouldn't open them you would think I am a total MP!) A Bluetooth headset, a Bluetooth charger, two iPod cables (no, one wouldn't be enough. Duh.), a USB wall/car charger, a wall to car charger, an insulin pump clip (why that's there I don't know. I don't clip my insulin pump to anything, generally.), another memory stick pro duo adapter, cell phone charger, a spare iPod for emergencies (what do you mean you don't know what kind of emergency requires a spare iPod? You don't have them??).
Now back to the bag: A Practical Guide to Writing Fiction, an organizer which I have yet to update for today, a camera in a case, a pair of 100% cashmere gloves-14.99-awesomely warm, a handful of sunflower seeds (no, I will NOT count them. Sorry, I have some dignity.),
A THIRD makeup case, containing: my one touch ultra link (that's a blood sugar-or blood glucose, it abbreviates better- meter, for those uneducated folks.), two half empty vials of test strips, one lancing device (that's the nifty little tool that shoots a needle into your finger to extract a drop of blood. And if my doctor or mother is reading this, please do not note the absence of extra lancets in my meter case. I er, I um, changed it last year!).
Back to the bag, there is a stray quarter in the bottom, also a mostly-empty water bottle, and a couple of splenda packets (perhaps they were to go with the drink I never made in that cup?), a mini package of highlighters (trust me, this is better than it used to be. Think a fourth makeup bag filled with sharpies.), a roll of double sided tape, a jar of hemp foot protector (if you don't get it, you must not have diabetes either. Except I only put it on right before bed, so I don't really get it either.), my glasses, my wallet (it's tiny too. Really, it's tiny. More like a card carrier. I never carry more than I must, obviously.), a CD of the theme song for a tzedaka organization I volunteer for, two more sticks of orbit gum, another bic pen, and a handful of assorted gas, grocery store and drug store receipts.
That's it. Not too much, right?
Go on gals, do it! What's in YOUR bag? Don't be embarrassed, it can't be worse than mine!
I think yesterday's post gave the mistaken impression that I only have ten things in my bag. I don't. I've mentioned before that I am ultra organized, so it's all arranged in cases and things. But I still carry more with me than I should admit to. But I will. So here goes, for the ultimate humiliation, the full contents of my bag:
16 oz hot cup and lid, (unused, I'm proud to say.) a packet of sugar-free hot-cocoa mix, an audio input cable, an orange pepper (I was WONDERING what happened to that!),
A wristlet, containing: seven bobby pins, the piece that fell of of my glasses (can someone please remind me to get it put back on?), a picture of two adorable little girls, a twenty dollar gift certificate to the local seforim store, a check for 14 dollars, a stick of yellow orbit gum, thirty nine dollars and fifty one cents (I suddenly feel very rich. Who wants to go shopping?), a folding pen with my name on it, a package of pink fruit-choice gum.
Back to the bag: a mini package of CVS tissues (unopened. Carrying them is an insurance policy against colds.), a pair of headphones.
A makeup bag containing: a mini tube of advil, a mini tube of Tylenol PM, two mini boxes of raisins, a traveling hair brush, a mini spray bottle of Lysol, a plastic CPR mask, a mini tube of curel hand cream, two sudafed tablets (in case the tissues insurance thing doesn't work, this is a total guarantee), a tube of blistex, a medicated chapstick, an insulin pen needle, four bic pens, two sharpie pens, one ultra fine point point sharpie marker (be impressed. I've graduated from carrying my entire marker collection with me. Why do you look surprised? Doesn't EVERYONE have marker collection?), one purple LePen felt tip pen, One prefilled novolog insulin pen, nine q-tips (again, all unused, you'll be proud to hear), five bandaids, one check (See, I didn't want to shlep around my whole checkbook, that would be totally unnecessary;-), a memory stick pro duo adapter, a package of yellow orbit gum, a folding mirror, nine dollars cash. Whew.
Onto the second makeup bag. (Gosh, if you wouldn't open them you would think I am a total MP!) A Bluetooth headset, a Bluetooth charger, two iPod cables (no, one wouldn't be enough. Duh.), a USB wall/car charger, a wall to car charger, an insulin pump clip (why that's there I don't know. I don't clip my insulin pump to anything, generally.), another memory stick pro duo adapter, cell phone charger, a spare iPod for emergencies (what do you mean you don't know what kind of emergency requires a spare iPod? You don't have them??).
Now back to the bag: A Practical Guide to Writing Fiction, an organizer which I have yet to update for today, a camera in a case, a pair of 100% cashmere gloves-14.99-awesomely warm, a handful of sunflower seeds (no, I will NOT count them. Sorry, I have some dignity.),
A THIRD makeup case, containing: my one touch ultra link (that's a blood sugar-or blood glucose, it abbreviates better- meter, for those uneducated folks.), two half empty vials of test strips, one lancing device (that's the nifty little tool that shoots a needle into your finger to extract a drop of blood. And if my doctor or mother is reading this, please do not note the absence of extra lancets in my meter case. I er, I um, changed it last year!).
Back to the bag, there is a stray quarter in the bottom, also a mostly-empty water bottle, and a couple of splenda packets (perhaps they were to go with the drink I never made in that cup?), a mini package of highlighters (trust me, this is better than it used to be. Think a fourth makeup bag filled with sharpies.), a roll of double sided tape, a jar of hemp foot protector (if you don't get it, you must not have diabetes either. Except I only put it on right before bed, so I don't really get it either.), my glasses, my wallet (it's tiny too. Really, it's tiny. More like a card carrier. I never carry more than I must, obviously.), a CD of the theme song for a tzedaka organization I volunteer for, two more sticks of orbit gum, another bic pen, and a handful of assorted gas, grocery store and drug store receipts.
That's it. Not too much, right?
Go on gals, do it! What's in YOUR bag? Don't be embarrassed, it can't be worse than mine!
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