A friend of mine is a little...different. I mean, I'd definitely say she is another little blob of something other than the fluff that the other girls are made of. We are the ones who dress up together on Purim, or even on regular days. (Shhhh! Don't tell the shadchanim!) We are the ones who aren't scared to step out of the line, the ones who aren't scared to be slightly 'unusual' to most tastes. We are the ones the the MOTS girls look at with a mixture of amusement and horror.
Well anyway, she's engaged. We had this discussion the other day. I believe it took place as she was singing out loud, along with the wedding music. "You know," I said, "it's a good thing you are engaged. Some people might think you are being weird." She wholeheartedly agreed with me. "I must be an inspiration to all the weird girls out there. If I got engaged, they can too."
I was wondering about this...
I can't grasp the concept of people living their lives around shidduchim. I mean, obviously, there is a lot of talk about this. But to what extent do people really allow their fear of stigmas in shidduchim to actually control their lives? Is it all just talk, or do people really suppress their true selves for the sake of getting dates with guys who wouldn't date their true selves? Am I the only one that sees this as being pretty twisted?
If you suppress who you are, and only then will the guy go out with you, what have you accomplished? Will you go on suppressing your true self for the rest of your life? Or maybe the guy was only acting the way he was acting because girls wouldn't date him otherwise?
Wouldn't it be better if we'd all just act how we want to act, do what we want to do, and date people who are ok with it?
Or is that what we are all doing anyway, and the "it's bad for shidduchim" line is just a boring person's excuse for lack of individuality?