Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Top Ten Ways To Entertain The Morah

The Morahs always claim to have an educational reason for asking, but between you, me, and the world wide web, it's for entertainment purposes only.

I spent a couple of summers as a daycamp counselor for toddlers, and my favorite thing to do was ask the kids what they want to be when they grow up. Sometimes in the end of summer pamphlet they sent out, I'd write the responses down to share a laugh with the mothers. The problem is that most kids say boring things like a mommy or a morah.

I once had a kid who said she wanted to be a marriage counselor, but it's less funny when you put it in context; her mother was exactly that.

I hope for my niece's morah's sale that she asks my niece what she wants to be when she grows up. See, my niece will do anything for nosh. And lucky for me, the last time I was at her house I brought lots of it along with me.

It took quite a few twizzlers, but by the end of shabbos, when asked what she wants to be when she grows up, my niece answered confidently: "a politician." She even learned to say "I have a dream!"

I figured it would be good for a laugh when morah asks. Then I figured that we could think of a bunch of ways to make Morah laugh. So here are Top Ten answers to...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

10) A politician
9) a Marine Biologist
8) Uncle Moishy
7) A Shadchan
6) Justin Bieber
5) A Taxidermist
4) A Chasidishe Rebbe
3) The Biggest Loser
2) A Guinea Pig
1) A Tax Payer

Some rejected ideas included: Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Drill Sergeant, Dog Walker, Psychotherapist, IRS Agent, Plumber, Lady Gaga, Used Car Salesman, NYC Taxi Driver, Polymer Scientist, Pulitzer Prize Winner, Nobel Peace Prize Winner, Michelle Obama, Mortician, Fisherman, Gas Station Attendant, Pope, Barbie, A JAP, a Neurosurgeon, a bunny rabbit, a dump truck and a calculator, among others.

Have you ever heard any really funny responses to this question? Bonus points for anyone who videos a kid saying any of these! (I'd post the video of my niece saying her career ambition, but I do want to be allowed to visit again...)


Anonymous said...

I had a little kid tell me he wanted to be a baby when he grew up. I thought he was ridiculous then, but now being a baby sounds pretty good to me.

Chaim said...

When I was in Pre-1A I was asked by the teacher what I wanted to be when I grew up. I remember answering that I wanted to be a Computer Programmer. I thought it was a very big word at the time, and it's the answer my father gave me when I asked him what he did at work. The answer was place in a yearbook with the rest of the class. When I looked back at it years later I realized that it wasn't a big word at all. But then I realized that it was much more advanced than any other answer given by the other kids.

Anonymous said...

well,my 7 year old cousin says he wants to be a ballerinaso maybe you could try that.
if you really dislike the teacher,
how about mercenaries?
but at least kids aren't saying they want to be fire trucks any more....

Rachelli Dreyfuss said...

a krispy kreme donut!

Nathalie said...

I told my principal in seminary that I want to be a fireman! :)

MAK said...

When I was little I wanted to be "a magical flying fox" when I grew up. Sadly, it never came true :P

Bad4 said...

When I was in third grade and we had to give a presentation on what we wanted to be, I braved all the morahs and mommies and said I wanted to be a zoologist. Marine biologist didn't kick in until 5th.

Primum Non Nocere said...

This past Shabbos, my nephew informed me that he would like to attend Pirate School in order to learn how to become a pirate. Mirroring Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirates of Penzance, I assumed that his lisp had kicked in and he meant pilot, but after some clarification (last I checked, pilots don't throw people to sharks) it was made clear that he in fact meant Pirate School. I was shepping nachas! :-P

Primum Non Nocere: Revamp the Shidduch System #2

Miri said...

A question I've often seen funny answers to: "why I love my mommy"

And boy am I glad my kid wasn't the one who said "she lets my babysitter take me to the park"!