"I have a great boy for you!"
It's half hour into our first meeting ever, an the first mention of dating or marriage. I try to protest, to save her the words, but it's difficult. She's a lawyer by trade, and obviously prepared to plead her case.
"What makes you-" I start asking, but she cuts me off. "Let me tell you about him."
I try to object; but my objection is overruled. I know I'm in for a long opening statement, so I silently nod as I direct my thoughts to more exciting things. My thoughts are interrupted by little snippets of her arguments. "Amazing family," "wonderful parents," and "Well playing job" seem to be some of the keywords. I nod politely until she seems finished.
Cross-examine. "What does he do?"
She looks hesitant. I wait for an answer. "Weeeell, that's the thing. He has kind of an offbeat job."
"I'm not-" My objection is overruled once again."
A detailed description of said off-beat job is forthcoming. Again, I nod politely. The only thoughts I am capable of at this point are related to the amount of time being wasted.
She is finished. It's time for my closing arguments. "I'm looking for a learning boy."
Her face falls as she realizes that she hasn't yet found a suitable match for her cousin with the off-beat job. Case dismissed.
5 comments:
Wait, you really only want someone who's learning?
If the person talking to you was an attorney, the person is not a good one. Always know your audience...
that was written very well blobby though i dont see why you shouldnt have given the guy atleast the slightest amount of thought before shutting him down.
Yes, I agree, i don't know details, but personality and middos, shouldv'e been more of a turn-off for you than a good working boy with right hashkafus. (if the lawyer mentioned any)
You tend to think that people that don't know you well, or will NEVER be the one to find you someone.. and only that someone that knows you for a while can even start thinking of the "right one"... but "blobby" in shidduchim Hashem is in charge... and even when she knows you only for a half hour... you never know .. who might be the one to know the one for YOU!!
From reading all your previous posts you sound very defensive to all people who suggest something... as if you want to tell them "you don't know me... " you want to scream "I'M SOMETHING DIFFERENT" .. "how can you really know me and find me someone..." truth is... the one that's is perfect for YOU will probably come from one of those people that so don't appreciate the awesome you... but happen to randomly have a 3rd cousin they would like to marry off!!
Let the defense down, listen with all ears to ALL suggestions.. and HEY you never know!!
Cant wait to share in the news!!
An avid reader
:)
What? No! I totally agree with ABoSD. I meet these kind of people all the time. I was in a supermarket doing some shopping last week and I asked a woman in identifying an item that I was unfamiliar with. She answered the question, asked where I'm from and said I have a girl for you. Then she tells me she dabbles in shidduchim. Then. She. Tells. Me. She. Dabbles. In. Shidduchim. G-d save the people she deals with if that's how she operates!
It's happened to me with shadchanim, wannabe shadchanim, dying-to-be shadchanim and people who see that I'm male, smile and am willing to help a person in need.
Seriously, if a person knows what they want, and the person being described is NOT what they're looking for, why should they give them the time of day?
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