Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Top Ten Signs You Have Just Endured a Three Day Yom Tov

In celebration of surviving the first three-day yom tov, and in nervous anticipation of the upcoming three-day yomim tovim, I present to you Top Ten Signs that you've just survived one. G'luck with it folks.

10) It used to be your favorite kugel, but having eaten it for the last six consecutive meals, you are pretty sure you don't want to ever even LOOK at that strawberry-apple kugel again.


9) You spent the better part of the day looking wistfully at the married women in the family and briefly considered hijacking a hair covering of some sort.

8) You suddenly realize that Barack Obama AND Joe Biden could have died, leaving Nancy Pelosi in charge, and you wouldn't even know about it.

7) Far, FAR worse, you realize that the Yankees could have lost their lead in the AL east and you wouldn't even know about it.

6) If someone would offer you an all expenses paid meal at Prime Grill you'd probably groan and mutter "No fleishigs...no more fleishigs..."

5) Your deodorant can is empty.

4) You are counting the minutes until even your favorite niece or nephew goes back home.

3) Your phone/iPod/laptop have time to fully cool down.

2) You have read every word of every page of the Yated, Hamodia, Mishpacha AND Bina.

1) You take the pony holder out of your hair and your hair just stays in the pony anyway.

14 comments:

G6 said...

I LOVE IT!!!

Requesting permission to link :)

Something Different said...

G6- What kinda question is that?? Of course you can!

G6 said...

Oh, I knew that....

I just wanted to hear you say, "PERMISSION GRANTED" ;)

Have a great Yom Tov!

Sun inside Rain said...

Great post! I can identify with almost all 10 (not 5 & 7!).

Have a wonderful Yom Tov.

Yehuda said...

Down with the yankees! up with the orioles!

Mystery Woman said...

LOL @ number 1!

Shades of Grey said...

#9 - ASoG definitely agrees with this and is ever so happy to not have to worry about this soon. In fact, during the last 3-day Yom Tov, she even said she might just put on her sheital for the heck of it (she didn't, though).

#8 - Dunno where you live, but if news this big happened, you'd hear about it some how. Gentile neighbors, passerby in the streets. Some sort of major panic would get the word around.

#7 - This is even easier. Don't you know about the time honored tradition among the men in shul to hock with the shul custodian to find out what's going on with all the sports games!?!

#6 - I dunno about this one, cuz you don't really get steak that much on yom tov (at least I don't).

#1 - As a male with short hair, I can't relate, but this is a brilliantly funny image.

MusingMaidel said...

My first thought when I got engaged was no more problems with three day yom tovs. I'm getting married a few weeks after succos, so I have to suffer these last ones with the rest of you, but after this, no more!

I actually warned my chosson (his yeshiva is near my house so I've been seeing him often) that we cannot see each other on the third day of yom tov. I also told him I'd be wearing a snood.

badforshidduchim said...

That last one... please. I mean, my hair does it, but it's behind my head so I can pretend...

Something Different said...

G6- Well then: permission granted. Lol.

SIR- Well re #5 it was almost empty anyway. lol.

Yehuda- I dont like u. Hmph.

MW- It's my life ur laughing at.

SOG- I know that most likely we would know, but you can't know for sure. And re sports, Idont think its from the custodian at shul, but my brothers always manage to come home and let us know who won. Unfortunately, they only put the effort in when it's the post season.

MM- I have been threatening to that effect for ages.

b4s- u don't believe me? I took my pony out last motzei rosh hashana and for about a minute it stayed that way. No jokes.

Bookworm said...

Dry shampoo, sister. Best investment. Plus (and I kid you not) a good substitute is corn starch. I apply some to my scalp and it absorbs the worst of the oil.

Now to keep makeup on for 3 days? With minimal sleep, I can maintain some mascara and eyeshadow. With minimal eating, some remnants of lipstick. But the breakout on my face has very few options.

My sister-in-law is making one meal milchig. Awesome.

I even now don't want the nieces and nephews to come, favorite or otherwise. I can pretend to play Monopoly for only so long before I snap.

Me - said...

Haha these are SO true!! Definitely linking, and, baby powder is my last resort for hair - mine is short and in my face so i cannot BREATHE 3rd day!
ps it's motzei yom tov for me and i'm sitting here with deliciously wet hair while you're all still...enjoying Y"T :D

badforshidduchim said...

SD - I meant that it's gross to the point of indelicate. Trust me - if your straight hair does it, what do you think my kinky mess does? One day I'm gonna start the chag with it in a pony on the top of my head to see if I can end with an anti-grav hairdo.

morahmamela said...

bad4, will you come over with your hair like that???