Until recently, I sat in my office during my lunch break, using my phone, talking, or killing time some other way. Then one day I decided that people all over the world dream of visiting NYC, and spend a huge amount of their money doing it, yet here I am, in the heart of manhattan, day after day after day. And I don't appreciate it at all.
So lately, I've taken to walking during my lunch break. I have so much fun "people watching" as I like to call it. (The exercise-I walk fast- is a nice bonus too.) Lately I've been noticing that tourists and New Yorkers are different species. Here are Top Ten ways to spot a tourist:
10) They buy things from street vendors without haggling or trying to get a discount of any sort.
9) They have a camera on a strap around their neck. And they're wearing an I-Love-NY tee-shirt.
8) They look shocked that there is a man cursing into a public telephone at the top of his lungs.
7) They stand at street corners taking pictures of the tall, tall buildings.
6) The roll these huge suitcases along the street, and they look thrilled to be doing it.
5) They walk really slowly. They probably talk slowly too, though you generally can't see that.
4) They look surprised, rather than alarmed, when a random stranger smiles at them.
3) They stand on the sidewalk until the walk sign actually appears. And they look scandalized that there are natives already across the street by then.
2) They actually notice, and seem both fascinated and terrified by the homeless man standing at the corner singing into an old flute as if it's a mic.
1) They can't recognize a Jew when choosing someone from whom to ask directions to the nearest Burger King.
How do you spot a tourist in NYC?