Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Top Ten Things I Learned On Sukkos

10) It is very comical when your niece goes to a Lakewood playgroup and learns to sing songs such as "Toiras Hashem temimah" or "toiv li, toiv li, toiras picha."

9) The aforementioned niece has a future career in politics. She spent the better part of hakafos worrying about when her tatty is going to "get a toirah" and why her zaidy "already got a toirah." She was also very concerned about why her tatty got "a red toirah" and why her zaidy got "a white toirah" and of course why the shul doesn't have "a pink toirah." ;-)

8) An impending rainstorm is the world's best way to hurry up a shleppy sukkos meal. "Ok, lets move on. There was a forecast for rain tonight!"

7) Kids are supremely tricky. One three year old managed to have "messes of dresses" read constantly all afternoon, simply by alternating between her aunts and her ever indulgent bubby.

6) Too many aunts/uncles/bubbies and zaidies spoil the child. One very clever 18 month old kid managed to outsmart a ton of adults by approaching them to open nosh bags....alternating between all adults. It's hard to give an exact total, but said 18 month old kid managed to get upwards of 8 nosh bags in the course of an afternoon.

5) Following the above logic, never, I mean never keep the nash bags in the bottom drawer of the pantry.

4) Chol hamoed trips will never be exciting enough for the teenagers who need to go back to school and win the you-won't-believe-what-I-did contest.

3) Regardless of the number of trips to the hardware store, the amount of hours spent designing, redesigning, planning, re-planning, building and rebuilding, men will nonetheless spend the majority of sukkos contemplating improvements to next year's sukkah plans.

2) Don't ever allow men to cook. Ever. Especially not on erev yom tov. And really not on yom tov.

1) The sukkah will never be big enough when there is a bee in it.


Inspired said...

LOL, sounds like you had a great Sukkos.

Yom Tov can't pass without the kids doing damage; distorting a beautiful noi sukkah and throwing it down on the street is fun!

G6 said...

Very cute.
4 and 1 are my favorites.

Dude with hat (aka BTS) said...

This is a nice one! I like about clever kids and about men building sukkah. And you have a big family!

David_on_the_Lake said...

oh those bees...
Its funny how...without those bee traps..you average 1 or 2 bees.
But when you put those things up..you get like 20 bees..and only 5 get caught..

harry-er than them all said...

10) how about "ring around the torah, a pocket full of mitzvos..."

3)and no matter how good the sukkah is this year, its always fun to make it cooler and better for next

Something Different said...

Inspired- Oh, did you learn that too? LOL

G6- Does that mean you can relate? :-)

BTS- I dont have a huge family, but when they all come for one yom tov they seem enormous. Especially if said yom tov is sukkos, and your father is a believer in small cozy sukkas....

DOTL- Funny you mention that. We didnt put up a bee trap this year, and we had much fewer bees.

HTTA- It would probably be "ring around the toirah" in my niece's case. Apparently her playgroup teacher is super yeshivish. Lol.

G6 said...

Totally :D