Sunday, May 23, 2010

Wedding Season is Here Again!

You might thinks it's because of the chizuk ladies; those nasty, blood-sucking creatures who feel a need to comment on your state of mind at all public events, but honestly, it's not them.

It's not the Nosey Shadchan either. Nope, I don't have such an issue with the ladies who attempt to cash in on their opportunity for a daily chesed by offering to set me up with a reformed axe murderer.

And no, it's most definately NOT jealousy. My state of mind doesn't have any direct correlation to the number of formerly single friends of mine who march down the aisle with stars in their eyes.

I won't deny it though. I do hate weddings. I hate the drag of the whole thing. I hate wasting an hour of my life clamping my hair between hot metal plates in a conformation attempt. I hate opening my mouth in that ridiculous fashion as I attemt to blacken my not-dark-enough eyebrows. I hate out-of-town weddings that I have to shlep to. I hate rummaging through my closet to find something semi-nice to wear.

I hate watching pious and teary eyed girls pray publicly during the chupah. I hate the way everyone sits around looking like they are enjoying the drag time, while in fact, they aren't enjoying the cheap vegetable soup either. I hate straining my voice to be heard over the band's mealtime rendition of Avraham Fried's "Lo Ovo." most of all, I hate dancing. I hate dancing with the Kallah, I hate dancing in circles, I hate dancing, period.

So, one might ask, why do I do it? Why do I go to wedding after wedding, subjecting myself to this fun again and again? The answer is actually pretty simple. In the immortal words of the great Yogi Bera: "Always go to other people's funerals or they won't go to yours."

14 comments:

little sheep said...

ok, ok, i can take a hint! ;-)

Feivel ben Mishael said...

Do most girls feel this way about weddings? I always thought that everyone loved weddings. Bochurim love them.

HZ said...

I'm a bochur and I wholeheartedly agree with SD.
Speak for yourself, Feivel.

Shades of Grey said...

I think the difference may very well depend on just how many weddings you get invited to/attend. As an out of towner, the most weddings I've been to in one summer was 4, and those were pretty spaced out, with only the latter two within days of one another (either I wasn't invited to other weddings I knew about or couldn't make it).

I can imagine that it is quite easy to get "burned out" from wedding overload. I would also conjecture that it depends on just WHO is getting married. People can only have so many very close friends that they really care about.

By the time you're just going to weddings because you went to high school/Israel/grew up together, but aren't actually on such socially intimate terms now - I would also adopt the "what, another one?" or "why bother?" attitude. In THAT scenario, I can see BoSD's Yogi Bera quote coming into play (pun intended).

Soul Comfort said...

I love weddings.
I believe they are as fun as you make them.

Bored Jewish Guy said...

I don't get invited to that many weddings and I completely agree with SD, I hate weddings, especially the dancing. I make it a point to only go to weddings if I actually believe the chosson or kallah would be happier b/c I was there, or if they're related.

Bookworm said...

So it is true . . .

I've noticed that people I never talk to from high school suddenly surface when they're about to get engaged. Why? 'Cause they need girls to shriek by their wedding.

And if you loathe, despise, abhor weddings, yet you want everyone to come to yours . . . meaning your own in the one exception? Because if you want to elope then Godspeed.

Frankly, the only people I would want at my wedding is (a) family and (b) people who actually know me and care about me. I don't need a cheerleading squad, thank you very much.

Frayda said...

I am not a fan of weddings either due to the dressing up, dancing, lame food, etc. Good post and I like the Yogi Berra quote you threw in at the end.

Anonymous said...

being a guy i can honestly say as bad as it sound i absolutely love going to weddings where there's an open bar and you can have drinks with your friends through out the night. on the other hand when there isn't any they do get boring for people your not such good friends with.

Bz said...

I enjoy weddings.

Now funerals... please feel free to skip mine. I won't be around to notice. My relatives however...might notice.

Funerals are for the relatives and for the attendees to feel they "did" something.

Mushkie said...

I love weddings :) probably because they dont come too often here, especially not the ones i actually go to the whole thing (chuppa&'reception' are hours apart here), but I also love wedding dancing so that may have something to do with it. Don't disillusion me! :)

Anonymous said...

Really? i also have loads and loads of weddings going on now, and i love it! i love getting dressed up, i love dancing, and i love the easy mitzva of bieng sameach the kallah! i guess it depends on the attitude :-)

Something Different said...

LS- nah... But you do owe me one. ;-)

FBM- dunno, but kinda doubt it.

HZ- guys do have more fun tho. Start with the shoes. (see my old post called superior stamina for an explanation.)

SOG- I don't go to waddings of mere aquaintences.

SC- and I'm a spoil sport. No news there. Lol.

BJG- Same here.

BW- oh good point about needing people to shriek at your wedding. If any high school classmates of mine read this, know that any attempt at communication on my part is most likely because I want your presence at my wedding.

Frayda- thanks. :-)

Anon- lol. It might be bad for shidduchim to get stoned at a wedding though.

BZ- lol I prefer not to plan my funeral. My mortality is real enough without it.

Mushkie- weddings are awesome. Forget you read this. I'm moving to Australia.

Anon- easy? I think it depends on who you ask.

chanie said...

I hate weddings...the dancing wears me out and the music is always too loud. Besides, travel is annoying and expensive, and often VERY inconvenient. (Read: last bus schedules=leaving when the wedding starts, practically, because everything runs Jewish time except Egged busses.) I [i]will[/i] think of coming if you provide a minibus/bus for all guests coming from Yerushalayim. Don't think that I liked weddings in Toronto, either, though...