Tuesday, November 2, 2010

(Top) Ten Commandments of Shidduchim

While not a true Top Ten list, I figured this was perfectly appropriate for the occasion. Feel free to add more. Unlike the real ones, there isn't a prohibition of Ba'al tosif. ;-)

With thanks, once again, to Bad4, for her help:

1) Thou shalt not have skeletons in thy family's closet.

2) Thou shalt not be caught out of thine house without a full face of makeup.

3) Thou shalt not wear long skirts.

4) Thou shalt not stick out from the crowd by wearing bright colors.

5) Thou shall be a special Ed teacher, therapist, nurse or accountant.

6) Thou shalt not be fat.

7) Thou shall meet every shadchan in a ten million mile radius of thine house.
8) Thou shalt not have unusual or controversial opinions.

9) Thou shall politely accept all strange, off-color, and rude advice offered by old women in black who deem themselves Shadchanim.

10) Thou shall be forever optimistic about every possible match suggested to thee.


Chana said...

Re: your number 1 statement- anyone who thinks that or tells that to you clearly hasn't learned the Gemara.

Look at Yuma 22b!

And with regard to Shaul, we find in Yuma 22b a statement of Rav
Yehudah in the name of Shmuel, "Why did Shaul's rule not last? Because
he had no fault. And Rav Yochanan said in the name of Rav Shimon ben
Yehotzadak, 'A king of Israel must have a packet of loathsome things
hanging behind his back (a skeleton in his closet) so that, if he
becomes too arrogant, the People can say to him, 'Take a look behind

אמר שמואל מפני מה לא נמשכה מלכות בית שאול מפני שלא היה בו שום דופי
דאמר רבי יוחנן משום רבי שמעון בן יהוצדק אין מעמידין פרנס על הציבור אלא
אם כן קופה של שרצים תלויה לו מאחוריו שאם תזוח דעתו עליו אומרין לו חזור

from here: http://kodesh.snunit.k12.il/b/l/l2502_022b.htm

stam[azoid] said...

hilarious, i liked bad4's suggestion thou shalt live in the tri-state area :)

itsagift said...

These are ten really tough rules! It's sad that some people view these as ten real commandments.

What about Thou shalt not lie?

Ariella said...

What's with the long skirt thing? Don't all the frum girls wear long skirts? Granted, they are hard to find with current fashion trends, but I don't even let my 9 year-old wear short skirts.