Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Showcasing Talents

I was in a mall today. I have always had a fascination with the booths that they have scattered around these malls. One can get anything from such booths.
Wedding gowns? Check.
Electronic, smoke free cigarettes? Check.
Obscene tee-shirts? Check.
3D laser images embedded in a glass cube? Check.
Dead-sea bath salts? Check.
You get the point. Everything and anything you can think of, all sold by Israeli kids looking for some action. (Btw, isn't it interesting how a country as full of bored kids as America needs to import bored kids from Israel to sell junk to other bored kids? And isn't it even more interesting how they think they can hook the obviously frum patrons into a sale by saying "shalom! Have you ever been to Israel?")

One booth really intrigued me though. A talent recruitment booth.
I was imagining a dialogue.:

SD: I'd like to apply. I have talent.
Booth Attendant: um? You?
SD: sure I do!
BA: what can you do?
SD: oh just about anything!
BA: no, I mean, what is your talent?
SD: you'd have to ask my mother about that.
BA: I just want to know what your talent is!
SD: like I said, I have lots of talents.
BA: such as?
SD: everything!
BA: can you tell me what they are?
SD: well...what talents do people pay the most for?
BA: just tell me what your talents are!
SD: my mother always said I can do whatever I set my mind to do.
BA: ok, just tell me one example of something you do well. (grits teeth)
SD: well, I have a blog with lots of followers.
BA: that's not really what we meant.
SD: and I update every day or two!
BA: we meant more like singing.
SD: I am tone deaf, but I guess I can sing if the pay is high enough.
BA: what else can you do?
SD: what do you want me to do?
BA: do you dance?
SD: I do at gunpoint, but you wouldn't want to see it.
BA: well... What marketable talents do you have?
SD: my shalach manos made everyone laugh-
BA: your shala- what?
SD: my shalach manos. People laughed when they saw it.
BA: so you are a comedian?
SD: ugh. I hate that term. Comedians have expectations to live up to.
BA: I don't understand.
SD: there's nothing to understand. Do you have a contract for me to sign?
BA: that's not how we work.
SD: so what do we need to do? I don't have all day!
BA: start by filling out these forms...
SD: forms? Like paperwork?
BA: yes.
SD: no THANK you. That's one talent I DON'T have.
BA: no...just to know what you-
SD: no thank you. Have a good day.
BA: (relieved) you too!

That got me started thinking on talents though. I'll explain in my next post...

6 comments:

tembow said...

lol

Inspired said...

One talent you definitely have is your imagination :)

EsPes said...

ditto to inspired

Child Ish Behavior said...

Wow, you sound so talented ;)

Something Different said...

TB- glad to hear it.

Insp- oh stop with the flattery. Out with it. What favor do you want? :-p

EP- you too huh? ;)

CIB- oh yeah. There isn't a talent in the world that I don't have.... ;)

Anonymous said...

LOL that takes talet