Some Random Observations on Purim

Megillah reading in a yeshivah is waay too long:
I mean, I enjoyed the Hamans. It was hilarious having a variety of animal noises to blot out the name of that famous rashah. And the party snappers and foghorns were quite amusing at times. And my sisters and I (with the exception of MP) were laughing when all the bochurim cheered at the hanging of haman.
I really can't talk, because I don't fast (did I mention I have diabetes?;) but IMO an hour long Megillah leining is much too long.

Drunk boys should not expect to get money:
Some very drunk boys banged on my car to ask for money. Now, the act of banging on my car while it was in motion was very dangerous, and that alone was enough to make me realize that these boys were not in full control of their senses. It didn't help their chances that one of the group was rolling on the ground and all of them were looking very vacant. Seriously, giving them money would have been equal to burning it. They seemed too drunk to recognize money if they did get any. Maybe a designated driver isn't enough. They probably need a designated collector too.

Costumes on girls are bad for shidduchim:
Who decided that? Can I change the rules? I declare that a lack of sense of humor is bad for shidduchim. Why should people think I am (slightly) strange if I want to walk around with a costume on? Well, maybe I am strange. I dressed up, and had a whole act to go with my costume. It was appreciated by most, even if I got some weird stares from some people and blank looks from others.

Men get to have much more fun on Purim:
Men get to dance and sing and drink and have a blast on Purim. Women get to deliver asthetically pleasing, cleverly themed, beautifully wrapped shalach manos on Purim. Um? ERA anyone?

There are a lot of benefits to being drunk:
1) you get to say whatever you want and nobody thinks you are weird.
2) you get to act really stupid and nobody thinks you are weird.
3) nobody tells you that it's bad for shidduchim to act that way. (Though I suspect they would react differently if it was a woman who was drunk.)
4) apparently being drunk gives you a license to talk really loudly.
5) you get to make the sober women drive you home from the Purim seudah, even of they are on 2 hours of sleep and the ride home is 2 hours, because they are scared you will attempt to drive and get arrested for DWI and they will need to come and bail you out of jail.

There are also benefits to being sober:
1) you can video the drunk men and sell the videos back to the men and make a considerable profit.
2) you have actual memories of Purim, not videos that you aquired for a steep fee.

There are ways to get drunk and there are ways to get drunk:
My brother gets totally spiritual when drunk. My mother sheps a lot of nachas from him. He stood up every two or three minutes during the Purim seudah to say (in a very loud voice) another "moiredike vort from the heilige rebbe from....." I'm not sure at what point he became chasidish, but once he did, it wasn't far from there to become a rebbe. I'm not either sure at what point he switched to become a chazzan. But he went outside, got up on top of his car and started doing yom kippur style chazzanus. He was also very heavy handed in his distribution of brachos. I got one that went on for about fifteen minutes and included everything anyone could want.
Then there are the rolling around on the ground from your drunkenness kind of people. The ones who make you nauseous and wish you hadn't seen that.
And then of course there are the out-cold kind of drunkards. But I gotta say, if you're gonna get drunk, do it gracefully. ;)

If you give a funny shalach manos that people talk about, don't expect to be able to post pictures of it on your blog the next day:
I had every intention of posting pictures of my mishloach manos on here today along with the poem I wrote for it, but I recieved too many phone calls, texts and IMs from friends saying that they LOVED my shalach manos and that they showed it to EVERYONE and they were laughing SO hard and now it is SOOO famous... So I have decided not to post it. Sorry. :-P