Sunday, June 28, 2009

Men are From Where?

I had a very enlightening discussion with my family this past Friday night.
First, let's set the stage: there were four of us at the meal, not including my parents. MP, myself, LT (little tzadik'l, who is anything but little), and LMM. My father was engrossed in a Sefer or something, which, conversationally left LT the only male at the table.
He was telling us women a story that happened the previous summer in camp. Basically, without going into too many of the boring details, some guy in camp made up a nickname for one of the janitors. Not that it was a brilliant nickname, but this boy decided to confide in another janitor, and tell him that the guys were calling the first janitor "it". It turned out to be a bad move, as janitor number two goes and tells "it" about his nickname. When "it" found out, he went and hunted the little bucher'l down, and beat him up.
That was basically the end of the story, and by the time he had reached it, LT was in stitches. He could barely choke the words out, amidst hysterical laughter. He looked over at us, his very own sisters, and his very own mother in shock. Why weren't we laughing? This was probably, to guys, the single funniest event of their summer.
Then, the conversation went on, and suddenly, LT was discussing swirlies. For the females reading this, who are reacting as we did, ("huh?") a swirlie is when you stick another guy's head in the toilet bowl and flush.
If your reaction is one of horror, please know you are in very esteemed company. MP was completely horrified at the thought of this. Personally, I was chocking over my Diet Dr Pepper, and couldn't stop laughing long enough to formulate an opinion on the matter.
So the conversation went on, and we all had lots of questions. Had LT ever been swirlied? And had he swirlied any other guys? How does it work?
It was in complete wonderment that the females at that table listened as LT promised that he'd never been swirlied, and that he had only given another guy swirlies once, and that there is a particular toilet in his yeshivah dorm that is especially suitable for swirlies. When we had finally managed to close our mouths, my mother commented. "Its times like this that I wonder why we don't say shelo asani ish."
Then LMM, my lil sis, turned to MP and myself, with horror written on her face, saying "and you two want to MARRY one of those?"
MP was busy wondering what people think of LT when he does things like that, and I started to plan my blog post. ;-)

Men and women are completely opposite. Men don't find the same things funny as us women do. Women don't consider stuffing their friend's head into a toilet bowl an appropriate display of friendship. Men don't see why a woman would need five pairs or shoes, crocs, Chinese slipper, and 'regular' slippers an appropriate way to pack for a week long trip. On the other hand, women don't understand the logistics of eating a lethal combination of beans and barley at ungodly hours. And men don't get why a woman would care about things like 'mauve' and 'Burgundy' and 'lavender'.

But then as one person put it, so succinctly, "Men are from earth, women are from earth. Get over it." While we are total opposites, we have to date, with the goal of living harmoniously for the rest of our lives. Isn't that hard? Honestly, I'm not in the position to speak about this topic, as firsthand dating experience is not something I have mug of. But how does a man and a woman even find topics of common interest? Men don't want to hear about your shopping excursions, and women don't want to hear about their run-ins with janitors, especially not those that ended with blood and a cast.
What is there then? How do people do it?


whoever said...

Good questions, although it seems to work for a lot of people out there...

MusingMaidel said...

very cute post. I have a little more dating experience than you do, and I just want to say that somehow, against all odds, it works. I don't know how or why, but conversation does flow. It must be one of the everyday nissim that happen, well, every day.

Jacob Da Jew said...

Maxim Magazine had an article about 100 things men find funny..

One of them was punting a small dog ;)

Also, swirlies ARE funny, too bad I never heard them when I was younger.

chanie said...

Hey...swirlies are gross but if it has blood, I think it's cool. The best thing is to smash "jookim" (cockroaches) because a) it goes crunch under your feet and feels cool, b) the sound is cool, and c) when you pick up your foot, you see all the guts. :)

But on the other hand, I wouldn't tell Y. that, because he still feels bad for killing a jook five years ago, to help a scared little kid. And blood? Forget it.....

So too bad I wasn't there listening to LT...

Kitzur- there are always exception and there are always things to talk about.

yoni said...

um, not all boys are like that, and if women refused to date boys who act like this, the boys would quickly behave, this happens in secular circles except usualy to the women's detriment.

at least this way the men can just get turned down and when they ask the shadchan what will they be told?

"you're an animal, grow up."

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

men will be whomever they need to be in order to get some girl to actualy take them.

so they'll comply to whatever standards women as a whole set for them.

Something Different said...

WE- Yeah, but perhaps I have stumbled across the real reason for the "shidduch crisis" ;-)

MM- So you've never been on a date where you had nothing to talk about??

JDJ- Do you have a link to that? Perhaps if I study it and memorize it I will be able to relate to the next guy I date more easily.
And swirlies are funny? To WHOM?

Chanie- I also think blood is cool, but not in a squashing roaches kinda way. Ugh. Yeah really tis a shame. Perhaps had you laughed he would not have felt a need to go into details about swirlies... :-p

Yoni- That does sound like a nice way of dumping a boy. "You need to grow up"
I did lecture LT about how he needs to grow up before he can contemplate dating. Imaging it he'd discuss swirlies on a date? :-O

Inspired said...

I assume you're planning to date someone older and more mature than your brother is now;-p

Growing up in house of boys I agree that men have a complete different thinking than woman. However, I did have long enjoyable conversations with my some of my brothers. I guess it all depends with whom you're dealing with...

G6 said...

Great post. (disgusting behavior)

But as I've posted previously, guys don't get girls either.

I could go on and on about the color thing. (hey, perhaps I will ...)

chanie said...

Too bad I wasn't there...

Yoni, ps...Some guys are desperate, and some girls are desperate. Not all care, and not all are desperate- of either gender. I'd guess that you've seen quite a few desperate guys- I've seen quite a few desperate girls. So...

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

I think the separation of the sexes from an early age has a lot to do why the guys and girls find each other too alien when it comes time to get married. The girls are too girly (since they haven't yet grown up) and the boys are too boyish (also, since they've yet to grow up). I think, like Yoni says, that mixing the sexes in public institutions helps a lot..

But I also think it's the responsibility of the boys to be a bit more universal (i.e. not "too male") as well as of the girls (not too be to girly) in order to become more palatable to the opposite sex.

In my own dating experience I haven't dated any girls who were interested in the traditional girly things (probably because they were a bit more "secular" and a bit more intellectual), and I've never been interested in the traditional boyish things, so it's worked out in that respect so far..

frumcollegegirl said...

i guess i was a boy before i grew up, because i knew all about swirlies-i didn't give them, though. and i certainly wasn't stupid enough to comply with my cousin and friend when they told me to "come into the bathroom to see something cool"

harry-er than them all said...

Im the proud survivor of about 5 swirlies in my life-time. Do i get a T-shirt for it?

Mikeinmidwood said...

seirlies are a rare occasion, no one gets those unless youve managed to piss everyone off. Jacob Da Jew is punting small dogs is funny.

Lvnsm27 said...

It is very interesting how different we are.

I remember reading somewhere, a girl asked someone why we would want to marry someone like that. They answered that because when they are older, they are more mature than before.

I think that men and women are meant to be different because these differences compliment each other. They are like two halves that make a whole, each one contributing what they have.

Something Different said...

Insp- yeah, that's my only comfort...

G6- thanks! And thanks for the link! :-)

Chanie- what are you trying to say there?

WYNI- Ok, that makes sense I guess. But is it really so much less in the secular world?

FCG- oh man. Did they really do that to you? And am I very naive that I never heard of swirlies?

HTTA- Yep! And a mug. :-D

MIM- so have you ever gotten a swirlie? Honest now!

LVNSM- interesting, I never thought of this as part of the whole complementing eachother thing. :-)