The topic of Shidduch Resumes has been written about far too many times in blogsville. And, I would assume that most of the people who've written those posts have a little more insight into the matter, as they most likely have, at some point or another, succumbed to the pressure and made themselves one.
So I am not writing a post about shidduch resumes. I am writing a post about self respect and dignity. Well, maybe I am writing about shidduch resumes, but either way, I'm not trying to be insightful, so I guess I'm covered.
I was in my sister's apartment the other day, and I saw she had some girl's shidduch resume hanging on her fridge. Perhaps MP would be scandalized that it wasn't her resume on the fridge, but I was simply engrossed in the act of reading and mocking it.
The part that struck me as the most demeaning thing I've ever seen in my life came right after her name. It looked like this:
Shprintza Yenty Klein, 22
Seriously? What the-? I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. "Hey Ma! Let's make me a shidduch resume! It'll say: 'something different, 20(ish), 5'6"(ish), not slim.'"
You might think that sounds degrading, but honestly, is it really any worse? Is this like the girl's price tag? Skinny, slim, average, plump, and obese...what can you afford?
I guess the basic idea of shidduch resumes is not so bad. Like, here's a list of all my references. (See? I did a chessed and wrote it out for you! I'm such a tzadekes you should be extra impressed!) But there is a not-very fine line between a list of references and palpable evidence of a girl's total lack of self respect. And sadly...it seems people cross this line. Many times too many.
Also, if this were a post about shidduch resumes, I would probably mention something my friend just told me. She recently got married to a boy that is quite a number of years older than her, and thus, he had been in shidduchim for a while, and had probably been redt to every girl in North America at some point or other. He said that he has a looseleaf full of all the resumes from all the girls he's been redt to, and each one looks identical. Its as if someone had made a resume for girls to use in shidduchim and left blanks for people to fill in.
"_______ is a ___ year old bright girl with outstanding middos. Throughout her high school years in _______, and consequently her seminary year(s) in _______, she has been beloved by all of her teachers and classmates alike...."
I could go on, but I'm pretty sure I don't need to. You've seem the template, haven't you?
Anyhow, I have just composed myself a shidduch resume:
Something Different: Practically perfect in every way.
I'm pretty sure that's all they need to know about me.