Monday, July 6, 2009

Is It Me or Is It Perfect In Here?

"What was I thinking when I volunteered for this?" was my thought as we pulled away from the last girl's house. Why in heavens name did I volunteer to drive MP and two of her Israel-bound friends to the airport? I couldn't figure it out. But as the trip went by, I suddenly realized why I did it. Entertaining a bunch of MP's as we sat in traffic for what felt like hours turned out to be the best entertainment ever.

Before we set off to pick up her friends, MP issued me a strict warning. "My friends think you're normal. Please keep it that way." I laughed and told her that the public has a right to know the truth. She looked panicky, and told me that it's too late to call the taxi, and could I PLEASE behave myself? "like, don't tell them anything too embarrassing, ok?" I couldn't figure out what she was trying to ask me. "Well, I spent the entire night last night preparing a list of conversation topics I could embarrass you with, do you want to see it?" She didn't.
So we picked up friend number one. She loaded her brand name luggage into my trunk, and we were off to pick up friend number two. Friend number two took longer, because she had her entire family there to see her off. Needless to say, she was dead embarrassed of her family, as MP's generally are, so we were out of there eventually. And then the fun started. "Guys, I brought my Prada phone!"
Prada phone? Silly me! I thought prada made clothes and the like. (Just when I figure out a company they go and change things...) I hoped I wasn't embarrassing my perfect sister, and asked what a Prada phone is. She wouldn't let me lay my non-perfect hands on it, but she took it out of the case to show me. It looked, surprisingly enough, like a phone. Friend2 turned it on, and MP and F1 squealed. "oooh! It says PRADA on the screen."
Conversation then turned to the stress of packing. "I spent hours in [insert name of neighborhood's ritzyest, most exclusive store] making sure I had enough clothing for the trip." The other two nodded in sympathy. I tried unsuccessfully to keep the smirk off my face. I never realized how much easier my life is because of my hatred of shopping.
Having finished the topic of shopping and and packing for the trip, they went on to the important task of complimenting eachother on their fabulous choices. "Ok, I need help choosing which to wear most often. I have these guccis (puts on ugly black sunglasses), these pradas (exchanges pair), and these lacostes (dons final pair). What do you think?" MP was quick to offer a suggestion. "These Kate Spades might look better on you. Try them and I'll wear your Pradas."
Wait a minute, are they, or are they not, talking about sunglasses? The conversation continued in this vein until someone noticed MP's now sweatshirt. "Oh, hey! MP I like your Juicy!" Now, personally, when I saw that sweatshirt, I asked MP why it had a J on it, when her name starts with an M. She didn't answer me. So now I discovered the truth. This was the emblem of another cult.
I had enough. I couldn't keep myself from laughing any longer, so I knew I would have to move the conversation away from things I found so ludicrous. Unfortunately, my next conversation topic ha F1 and F2 crying from laughter, and MP chuckling along, while glaring at me out of the corner of her eye. We eventually reached the airport, and MP tried to usher her friends out of my presence as fast as possible. The Perfects presented me with a highly perfect keychain, that I am embarrassed to admit ownership of. I thanked them in as perfect of a way as a blob like me is capable of, and they departed. I was marveling at their parting line all the way home. "Thanks for the ride SD! And thanks for the entertainment! It was the best ride I ever had!"
Hey! This is a highly perfect person we are talking about. The icing on the cake came a little after I got home. A text from MP saying "thanks for driving us SD! My friends think u are soo cute!"

I have the approval of three little miss perfects. Joy to the world!

19 comments:

Ezzie said...

Most fitting comment that comes to mind:

OMG.

little sheep said...

lol

Inspired said...

ROFL!

For some reason I get a better picture of them now. I never knew these type of people existed! and in your family:-O

There must be something behind this key chain that we don't understand, a brand name or something really in now...

Dude with hat (aka BTS) said...

To the end of post I've finally figured what MP meant cuz I always thought it was something particular about your older sister.

I hate stores too - always in a bad mood after for the time wasted (regardless of success level in buying stuff)...

Mikeinmidwood said...

every comedian needs to start somewhere.

whoever said...

Does getting approverd by 3 MP make you an AMP (Almost Miss Perfect)? :)

Something Different said...

Ezzie- trust me, if you saw the keychain they bought me for a present, it would be a lot worse than just OMG. Ask inspired, she saw it. Oh, and my mother burst out laughing when she saw it.

LS- Yeah, I was too, and they were so caught up in decision making (sunglasses are apparently an essential part of their get up) that they didn't even notice!

Insp- We have a suspicion she is adopted...
And I don't think so. It would look nice dangling off of a Kate Spade wristlet or whatever. Shame(?) I don't own one!

BTS- I have a glossary on my blog where I provide definitions of all these terms. Its not my problem that people read it in google reader or wherever and don't see the definitions!MP is m older sister. Birds of a feather flock together tho...

MIM- I wouldn't want to put leah forster out of business. She is the one who entertains MP's for a living.

WE- Oh gosh I hope not. Should I disinfect my hands just in case?

Dude with hat (aka BTS) said...

wow, what a fire!..
I do read your blog in google reader or on my iphone though... and read comments on gmail..

nmf #7 said...

Ha. Well, at least they found you funny! They have a sense of humor!

halfshared said...

Haha. Omg, do such people really exist or are they a figment of your imagination? (Not that I doubt you, just the existence of species of that nature).

Something Different said...

BTS- I was kidding, I am sorry if that didn't come across. BOSD doesn't look so good on the ipod, so you are excused. What do you use for google reader on the iphone? A special app?

NMF- Thats pushing it. ;-)

HS- They do! And they have infiltrated out society! :-O

Dude with hat (aka BTS) said...

He he. Apology accepted :) Nevermind, i didn't take it close to heart.

I use ByLine - one of really good apps made for iPhone... It's integrated with Google Reader which is perfect for my 150+ subscriptions. I've got it for free when they only launched it.

Something Different said...

BTS- Oh, I don't pay for apps, but I think I found a decent free one. :-)
Btw, I also do that shtick, dowload apps as soon as they are released, if they are free, so that when/if they start charging I will have em!

BigChamor21 said...

"I wouldn't want to put leah forster out of business. She is the one who entertains MP's for a living."

LOL

Something Different said...

BC- ;-) are you a fan?

BigChamor21 said...

I think you know me better than that....

Something Different said...

BC- So is this not a good time to remind you who re-forwarded the goyta video to me a while back, just to remind me of it?

BigChamor21 said...

Hmmm....

Something Different said...

BC- Oh don't start that... lol