Monday, August 31, 2009

If It Ain't Broke...

I looked at my brother in alarm. "What in heavens name are you doing LT?" MP looked over and put in her shrill comment, "Oh my goodness!! LT you're gonna break that!"

Things might sound hysterical here, but really, it's business as usual in my house. Mom comes home with some kind of small appliance, or any other electronic gadget, and the men of the family see a need to take out their tool-box and fix it. Female pleas that the object is straight out of the box, and thus require no fixing fall on deaf ears.

See, keeping things simple is a very feminine idea. Take last erev sukkos in my house. My brother suddenly remembered that one year the rain was so heavy that the shlak on our sukkah accumulated enough rain to cave in. Why he remembered it now, at least four or five years later is beyond me. And why he decided that we could not go into sukkos without a fancy pulley system for the shlak is completely beyond me. But he is of the male species, and therefore he thinks differently than I do.

The scene grew ludicrous though, when we women, for some inexplicable reason, decided to ask for the kitchen back. "C'mon, we almost have our pulley system working! Can't you guys go someplace else to cook?" How silly of us, wanting to cook in the kitchen, of all places.

Then there is the time that my brother decided to "fix" the fridge. Mind you, none of the females in the house ever figured out what needed fixing about the fridge, but apparently it was a big job, because LT called his friend over to help him. Naturally, this endeavor took place on erev shabbos. Naturally, we were kicked out of the kitchen so they could work. Naturally, the fridge got pulled out and gallons of water somehow found their way onto the newly mopped floor.

I am not quite sure what our little fixer-men did, but I do know this. Three days later the fridge was in shambles and my father was sure that LT could fix it. Try talking to a man about something like this... Call me sneaky, but I went behind the male backs and called the PC Richard warranty service and they took care of the problem. And LT? He thinks the problem righted itself, due to the genius that created it (the problem, not the fridge.)

This is not my only such story. Once, my brother took the kitchen phone apart, "to see if he could make it work better." Funny, the men in my family make so much fun of the women for talking on the phone too much, but I guess we didn't talk enough to discover the problem - that takes a man.

That time, my mother got smart. She took one look at my brother sitting at the table surrounded by masses of tools, screws, nuts, bolts, and those little things that a woman can't ask about without getting herself mocked, and she went out to the local store to buy a new phone. Here's where diplomacy comes into the mix. My mother came home and told my brother that she bought a new phone to use while he fixes the other one. I'm pretty sure he is still working on it.

It's not only LT, it's all my brothers. BT has been known to collect drills, not something a female would ever be able to comprehend. And BB, who is less mechanically inclined has been known to master-mind some of the more ambitious endeavors. And don't get me started on my father, who is the duct-tape champion of the universe.

And it's not just fridges and phones. It's toasters and coffee makers, battery testers and rice cookers. Computers, sandwich makers and even irons are subject to the male-fixer treatment.

A wise man once said, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." On second thoughts, it must have been a wise woman. Her husband was the one who said, "if it ain't broke, break it, then you can try to fix it."

10 comments:

David_on_the_Lake said...

I'm afraid to say..I'm living breathing proof..that one can never generalize.
I'm definitely of the.."if it's not about to kill you..don't fix it.." line of thinking...

BigChamor21 said...

Then there is the time that my brother decided to "fix" the fridge. Mind you, none of the females in the house ever figured out what needed fixing about the fridge, but apparently it was a big job, because LT called his friend over to help him.
LOL
Thank G-d I don't have brothers, only a father to KILL OUR LAPTOP!!

inkstainedhands said...

You're actually making me feel relieved that I don't have any brothers and my father is not interested in tampering with electronics.

But at least you can make an interesting story out of your life. That should make it a bit easier to endure that kind of stuff.

Something Different said...

DOTL- That can't be worse than my brothers... I can imagine your wife getting frustrated at times though...show her this post. :-)

BC- Glad you approve. And "only a father to kill our laptop"?? ONLY? If my brother even knew I had a laptop... :-O

ISH- Brothers can come in handy when you actually need something fixed, provided they don't break it further in the process.
And yes, my family makes me mad sometimes, but the stories are great. :-D

Inspired said...

Doesn't take a brother to do those, I do it myself!! not to such an extend though...

halfshared said...

I love playing around with things, figuring things out and putting it together again. I can't say I'd do it with refrigerators, washing machines or plumbing. More like electronics (computers, phones, and the like).
And by the way, I have a brother that is extremely handy. I cannot remember a time that he took something on and then said he can't do it. Maybe it runs in the family.

Freeda said...

That's so funny- I thought all men/boys are good at fixing things.. guess just mine are. My brother set up an alarm system for us when he was 11. He took apart a broken appliance into over 100 tiny pieces, put it all back together- and it works! Guess I'm just lucky. Hey, it's a good thing I read this, at least I won't be shocked if my husband (IY"H) "fixes" things- like your menfolk do...

Something Different said...

Inspired- Gosh....you're worse than I thought!

HS- I also love playing around and figuring things out. (Though I am more of a software girl than a hardware girl.) But gosh, I don't look at electronics and say "hmmm, I wonder what happens if I take that apart."

Freeda- They usually get things fixed in the end, just they don't always need to be fixed. :-/

Inspired said...

Was that a compliment? :p

Something Different said...

Inspired- Take it how you want. I'm in a good mood. LOL