Murphy's Law At Weddings

Murphy's law, while commonly discussed in our society, doesn't actually play out to the fullest extent on a day to day basis. In fact, if I were in a more serious mood, I'd probably point out that we generally think things are awful, simply because we don't stop and think how much worse they could be.

If given the task of imagining the wildest, least likely, and all-together insane thing that good 'ol Murphy would cunningly carry out at a wedding, what comes to mind?

Obviously, I don't mean horrific tragedies like some I've heard over the years. I mean the kind I stories that you'll one day look back at...and laugh.

I once heard a story that I thought was a classic portrayal of Murphy's influence on a wedding ceremony. The following was recounted by a friend, whom I met only after her wedding, so while I didn't actually see it, I heard it from the kallah herself.

The night before her wedding, my friend was leaving the house, tripped on the dark stairs, and fell. As is often the case, my friend put her hands out to stop the fall, so her hands bore the brunt of the impact. They got a bit scraped, but didn't look too bad. She went to sleep, hoping to wake up and find they had completely healed.

Unfortunately, the opposite occurred. She woke up to stinging pain in her hands. She looked down, and felt a sinking feeling of total dread, as she saw the swollen, pussy, infected appendages that had just yesterday been her hands.

While many girls spend the morning of their wedding in prayer, others in nervous anticipation, my friend spent the morning of her wedding at the doctor's office, having her hands bandaged. And, I think the worlds greatest Dan lekaf zechus story took place when friends, classmates, and relatives came in and wondered why she was wearing elegant white gloves to her wedding. "Why is she trying to be so fancy?" "It looks so goyish!" Little did they know that when they shook my friend's hand, or grabbed them to dance, they stung from terrible pain.

A kallah at the doctor's office on the day of her wedding? Can it get worse? Apparently, it can.

As I mentioned yesterday, BigChamor got married last night. I THOUGHT Murphy's law had played out when she spent the entire shabbos talking about her imminent cold. Then I was sure Murphy's law was here when she woke up Sunday morning and announced "it's here!" Monday morning, when she texted me that she had a sinus infection, I was sure it couldn't get worse. Later in the day, I got a text from my bridosapien friend saying "I have a nosebleed." I was horrified. "if that happens at the wedding ur gonna get it all over ur gown and ur chosson is gonna think u murdered someone."

I THOUGHT I was joking. But a couple minutes into first dance, as the kallah glided gracefully, albeit quickly off the dance floor and into the bathroom, I realized this was no joke. Her nosebleed had returned. They got it stopped, and the kallah returned. She danced a bit, and then her nose struck again. Once again, midway through dancing, the Kallah left the dance floor to take care of her nose.

By the third time around, it was no longer ignorable. This time, she didn't go off on her own, but was dragged off by some family members. People continued to dance, figuring that she would be back any minute. Her sister came over notified me otherwise. "They took her to the hospital to have her nose cauterized."

Speaking of Murphy.

She finally came back, and I went to dance with her. "SD, look!" she whispered. And right there, in the center of the dance circle, the Kallah lifted her sleeve just a drop, enough for me to peek in and see. There was a hospital bracelet around her wrist!

A chosson lifted up to see his kallah over the mechitza, only to see a bunch of girls merrily dancing around nothing? An emergency room tech asking a girl in a white gown and a veil "are you the bride?"? A hospital bracelet competing with the kallah bracelet for space on the kallah's wrist? I'd say murphey played a part in all this.

Naturally, the kallah found a bright side, as she whispered to me, after dancing had ended, "well, at least you'll get a great post out of it!"

Has anyone ever been at a wedding where Murphey was in attendance? What happened?