Who's He Going To Tell?

A Rabbi was feeling very chained down his congregation and all the services, so he decided to skip out on the holiest day of the year, Yom Kippur. He went to a nearby golf course and began to play. The angels looked down from heaven and when they saw a Rabbi playing golf on Yom Kippur, they were scandalized. They pointed it out to God, who looked down knowingly. "Don't worry," He said, "I'll take care of it."

A couple of minutes later, the Rabbi approached the hardest hole in the course. The angels looked on in astonishment as he hit a hole-in-one. They looked questioningly at God, "A hole-in-one? On the toughest hole? That's what you call a punishment?" God winked back at the angels. "Who's he going to tell?"

I had my own little version of this joke tonight, and I want to share it, for the sole purpose of gloating.

I was standing in the doorway of my parent's bedroom, talking to my mother. The conversation wasn't all that private, but I would have obviously preferred not to include my siblings in it, or it would have been a supper-table discussion. My back was facing the inside of the bedroom, so I couldn't see what was going on in the hallway, but growing up in my family has taught me to use my hearing to my advantage.

A minute of so before this, the bathroom door had opened. I heard my sibling's footsteps leaving, the bathroom, then stopping. Now, realize that I knew exactly which sibling it was, but I don't want to say it on here, so I will call that individual US, for "Unnamed Sibling." I knew that US was still within earshot, desperately trying to catch on to stray words from our hushed conversation. I didn't want to disappoint them. I raised my voice a bit. "By the way Ma, it's funny how US thinks we don't know that they are listening to us." My mother looked confused. "How do you know?" "Don't you realize? US walked out of the bathroom, and the footsteps didn't continue down the hall!"

At that point, the footsteps started up again, so my words got a little louder. "And the best part is that US won't be able to get angry and ask why I was talking about them, because they can't admit I was right!" I smiled big at my mother, then finished the conversation and went down to the kitchen to meet up with my scowling sibling. I smiled once more, and asked why they looked so glum. "Nothing," was the mumbled reply.

Yeah right.