I ask you to look deep into the recesses of your mind and try to contemplate the perplexities of the following.
Why do we make bridal showers? What is the point?
Are we making it for the kallah? That busy girl who doesn't have the mental capacity to formulate even one sentence that doesn't start with the words "my chosson said"? Do we really think she cares for these things?
Is it for the kallah's friends? Cuz people certainly enjoy getting together and pretending not to be hungry while picking at salads with exotic names and even more exotic ingredients, huh? (Though I am proud that I once showed up at a shower with a caramel cheesecake that made everyone forget their diets and fight over the last remaining morsels. :-D)
So what is the point? Why do we do it? Who needs it?
My engaged friend recently told a few of us that she doesn't want a shower. "Just buy me a present" (I couldn't have said it better myself!) Another friend pointed out that it might be a little presumptuous of us to ask people for money but not invite them to an event to go with it.
I disagreed. "I'd be willing to give double the money if I didn't need to show up at a dumb shower." I'm not sure if the others were in agreement or not, but she isn't having a shower so that must tell you something.
Another problem with showers: why do we try to surprise the kallah? What makes you think she isn't going out with her chosson? Or that she doesn't have a sheitel macher appointment or something? or maybe (gasp) she has prior arrangements that are not centered around her impending wedding ceremony?
Also, in the rare case that you actually have her surprised (as opposed to having her feign shock) ask yourself; is it really fair to her? Everyone else has ample warning, and is able to make herself look presentable. The kallah, on the other hand, (remember this is a hypothetical situation) shows up to 'pick something up' from her friend's house, looking quite disheveled. Suddenly, the cameras flash, the music goes on, and then.....she finds her casually-clad self in the midst of a social frenzy. Then again, any girl who is soon-to-be-married and doesn't see a shower coming when she finds friends making excuses to invite her over, truly deserves the kallah stereotype.
So why DO we make showers? My guess is the fancy paper goods manufacturers are behind all this. It's a conspiracy, and we fall for it- hook line and sinker.