Uh Oh! The Fashion Police Are After Me!

I complimented my coworker on her skirt yesterday, and was treated to a rant in exchange. "It's impossible to find cute navy skirts these days! Seriously, I searched all over till I found one." I looked at her, and had to laugh. She's quite a bit younger than me, so I had to remind her. "You know, it wasn't that long ago that even a nerd wouldn't be caught dead in a navy skirt. They were THAT nerdy."
Her mouth dropped in surprise, though I'm not sure why. She obviously doesn't wear what she likes, rather, whatever is in style. So I went on, figuring I'd shock her a little further. "Then I guess you don't remember the time when saying that someone wears vests would be the ultimate insult, huh?" Needless to say, she didn't, but she didn't see the irony in her navy and white vest and navy skirt get-up either.
In truth, I feel like this topic is so stale, it's an embarrassment to write about it, but as the sister of an MP, I am exposed to the brutal realities of fashion on a constant basis. And as many times as I hear the rules, I simply don't get it.
Not too long ago, I was shopping with MP in Woodbury Commons, an outlet mall near Monroe. I needed shoes, she needed more Brand Name Perfection. She led me to a part of the mall that was rather unfamiliar to me. I looked around at the stores, and I understood. These are not stores I frequent. Most of them are not stores I'd even know about if not for my familial relationship with Her Perfectness.
Ok, Saks I've heard of, but seriously, Tod's? Theory? Torre Burch? What gives?
I really wanted to find my shoes and get out of there, as shopping is not an activity I enjoy. So I turned to my sis and I said "uh, MP, I don't think these stores sell shoes for me. Can we please go to the part of the mall where they have stores like Nine West and Aldo?" She wasn't really paying attention. "Oh, look, Ferragamo! They have shoes sometimes!" I snorted, but not loudly enough to get me kicked out of Torre Burch, where we had just walked into. I asked MP if she wanted a bath towel, cause they were on sale for only $119. She didn't find that funny. Neither did I, btw.
In the next store, (don't tell! I forgot the name. It was probably hard to pronounce, if I had to guess,) MP tried on a navy top. I asked her if she has a navy skirt to go with it. Silly me. "The rule is that you're allowed to wear a navy top with a black skirt."
Woah.
Firstly, my poor coworker made herself crazy looking for a navy skirt for nothing. But more importantly- "the rule is?!?"
I saw my window of opportunity, and I pounced. "You're kidding me, right? The rule? Who makes these rules? The fashion police? And what happens if I break the rules? I get a ticket? Then what? I get points on my fashion license?" MP didn't find it funny at all. I mean, we should NOT be making fun of a topic as serious as this, huh?
But when I think about all this, things start to make sense. I must have had my fashion license revoked a number of years ago. Because the whole thing simply makes no sense to me.
I'll explain what I mean in my next post...