Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Homo-Sapien VS Brido-Sapien

This post is In honor of Chanie, who seems to think that Kallahs are a part of the same species as us humans. They aren't. I am not basing this on a random inferrence, rather, on a collection of scientific studies and data that I have collected over the course of time that my friends have been venturing into the kingdom of "Bridezilla".

The first bit of scientific data I've collected is about the dangerous chemical interaction between the 'brido-sapien' and their nefarious nemesis, commonly known as the diamond ring.
Our field agent reports:
"I was driving in the car with a Brido-Sapien (oh gosh I can't abbreviate that!) on the first day that she had her ring. I was rather alarmed by her driving style. Most people drive with their hand on the wheel, or on their phone, or just plain down at their side. But this Brido-Sapien was driving with her hand up in the air. And, while humans drive with their eyes on the road, at least partially, this brido-sapien was driving with her eyes on her ring. After a couple of near accidents, I whispered a silent prayer of thanks as I stepped out of her car."
Normal behavior? Not for a homo-sapien, but remember, these are creatures of a different species.

The second bit of scientific data was related to me by a Brido-Sapien herself.
My really close friend, who is an overwhelmingly honest person, related a bit about what happens to a person when she gets engaged.
First, some background. We were in the car together, on the way home from some shopping trip (did I mention I'm a VERY good friend?) and she was in the driver's seat. Suddenly, I called out to her. "Uh, Leah, did you realize that you just sailed through a red light?" She looked at me with horror written all over her face. "SD, that is so scary! That's the second time I have done that in two days! I don't know what's happening to me! I am not the spaced-out, head in the clouds kallah type, and it's not like I look at the traffic light and I see my chosson's face, but I simply didn't even realize there was a traffic light there!" Now, you must realize that she really was not spaced out. And even as a kallah, her head was more firmly grounded than many single girls. Yet, in an honest moment, she admitted that she really wasn't herself.
Homo-Sapien? I think not.

So there you have it folks. Highly scientific data from our country's leading scientists. Feel free to draw your own conclusions.

21 comments:

chanie said...

I thank you for writing an entire post in my honor.

To defend that honor however, I must tell you that I have many friends who are incredibly down-to-earth as kallahs. In addition, I like to pride myself on being the same way. So there you have it...

True, I space out and forget to hand in assignments. But that's nothing new- I've been doing that since sixth grade. And in some ways, I think things through a lot more, and am a lot more careful, than I was ever before. Soo....

G6 said...

Brido-Sapien - B.O.S. {safer ;)}
Great post....
Very Cute!

frumcollegegirl said...

omg! sooooo true!!!

i prefer not to hang out with "their kind" :)

Inspired said...

Cute! Great study!

Love your new logo and Diabetic Alert. (what is that little thing supposed to be?)

Live life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mikeinmidwood said...

How about Chossid-with-new-born-baby-sapien?

I was waiting for a spot to park, finally one opens. As I pull in front to do some parralel parking the Cwnbb-sapien pulls right in back of me so I cant park. The car on the side of me then wants to pull out, so I move up again. The Chossid pulls into the spot I tried to get into before, then as I am about to try and parralel park again the chossid pulls up into the spot I wanted again. So now I had to pull back into the original spot. I came out of My car and was about to give it to him. He say "Im sorry my wife had a baby". And there you go, Chossid with new born baby sapien.

MAK said...

I applaud this post, very cute, and I agree with you, though none of my very close friends have gotten engaged yet, I can very easily see them being Brido-Sapiens.

Something Different said...

Chanie- So you are engaged! Mazel tov! When's the wedding?
And like I said, my friend was very non-spaced out, yet she addmited to not being herself. If you are planning a trip over here let me know and I can try to judge you...

G6- LOL yeah that works better... ;) I think I'll be really Safe though, and spell it out...

FCG- why don't you hang out with them? They are so much fun to make fun of! :-D

Insp- thanks! The logo is still in the works...I'm not sure what I want to do with it yet but we'll see...
The diabetic alert is something I found online, I didn't make it. I think that was supposed to look like a shot of some kind...dunno. It's odd.

LL- thanks! Hear that chanie? All us impartial people agree!

MIM- yep. That's another life form. There are lots. :-)

MAK- oh they will be. Trust me. So will you. :-)

chanie said...

SD- I am. I asked what made you think I was- and you assumed that I wasn't! Nunu...

And most of my class, when I told them this week- after having been engaged for a while- looked at me and said, "Are you serious?! But you've been acting completely normal!" So....

chanie said...

Whoops- realized I forgot to answer the first part.

Thanks. :) We don't know- I'll tell you, though, IY"H when we do...
Where is "over here"? How can you judge me, though, if you didn't know me before? LOL..

sporadicintelligence said...

I'm beginning to take offense at all these kallah posts (maybe because despite my greatest efforts, and it being totally contrary to my personality and everything I stand for, I have turned into one myself [but only a mild version, I have to save some grace])

But wait till you're a kallah, trust me, you wont be any different.

And you'll love it :)

Something Different said...

Chanie- I thought it was obvious. The way you were sticking up for kallahs made me think you were one... :-) Turns out...you are! :-D
And I don't get it. Nobody knows you're engaged? How long have you been engaged for?

SI- LOL, don't take it personally...Gam ze ya'avor! ;-)
And I know I will be a 'brido-sapien of the worst kind. That's just my nature. That's why I am planning for a really short engagement. Six weeks sounds just right. I seriously can't bear the thought of a spaced out version of me. Ugh.

chanie said...

Sporadic- Huh?

SD- LOL, okay... People know, I just didn't "announce" it so that the whole world knew. I mean- I did, two days ago. WE've been engaged for...well, since 11 Nissan.

And IY"H you'll make it in six weeks. Though trust me, I've seen girls who get spaced out after two.

frumcollegegirl said...

it's only fun to hang out with engaged friends if there's another single friend with you. otherwise you could drown in all the talk of rings, gowns, thread counts, furniture, and all that boring stuff that i will one day find fascinating.

but yes, it does make for great entertainment sometimes

chanie said...

Look, I can listen to talk about gowns, but honestly, we don't care to get a minyan and just get married in the forest. It's our parents that want the party...so they can organize it. If they're so into it, I'll add to the guest list. But otehrwise? Who cares?

Something Different said...

Chanie- Well, whenever you got engaged...Mazel Tov! And don't wear a gown. Wear that new brown skirt...

FCG- I am ok with sitting and listening to this stuff...I make fun of it. ;-)

chanie said...

SD- thanks. And the "new brown skirt" is no longer new.

Something Different said...

Chanie- LOL! New is relative!

chanie said...

Indeed it is....

Something Different said...

Chan- ;)

chanie said...

;) :P