Monday, March 15, 2010

I, On The Other Hand, Can Complain

I'm writing this post in a state of extraordinary nausea. And, believe it or not, I'm thrilled to be writing this.

See, it all started a couple of nights ago, during a discussion with a newly married friend. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" she lamented. "I woke up so nauseous today!"

Immediately, I started to wonder. Is she trying to tell me something? Or was her statement a matter of extreme naïveté?

"Uh, Esther, are you trying to tell me something?" For a minute there was confused silence, and then- "Omg, SD! I thought that of all people YOU were safe to complain to."

"Listen Esther, I'm not examining your stomache every time we meet, but complaints like that kind of warrant the question..."

She sounded sad. "You mean there is nobody I can complain to about my stomach virus?"

And sadly, thus is the state of our society. Newly married women are subject to inquiring stares, and those married for a little longer get the pitying glances. Anyone in between? Well, suffice it to say, they can't complain.

And I can. So...


Ahhh... Complaining is better than husbands, right?

(And, btw, this is going in parenthases on the bottom of a post to reduce the risk of appearing to be a shnorrer, but due to popular request, these is now a paypal "tip jar" on my blog, in case anyone wants to show appreciation for this blogger, especially in the wake of her new computer purchase.)


G6 said...

Refuah Sheleima

Loli said...

So is there a 'shotgun wedding' we'll be hearing about soon?

Shades of Grey said...

It is most interesting how our society presumes that women simply cowtow to becoming, as a friend said in the name of one of his rabbeim, "Coca Cola machines" and just make babies like there is no tomorrow, starting from day 1 of marriage.

As a male, I can't imagine what it's like, but it does seem unnecessarily unfair to be so presumptuous regarding what is essentially a very private area of a married couple's life (having children and when). Granted that we are all expected to have children while married, but timing etc is not quite so standard across the board as many may think - and no one seems to realize this.

Married woman said...

Sorry you're nauseous. :-( I hope you feel better soon! But at least you can complain.

I've been married 14 years and have a bunch of kids and at this point in my life, I don't think twice about complaining that I'm nauseous. If someone wants to think I'm pregnant, so be it.

dvorak613 said...

So true! I'm pretty visible now, but less than 6 months ago (when my husband and I knew but hadn't told anyone yet)I was still getting those awful stares. It's insensitive beforehand, and rude at the point at which you know your status but haven't announced it yet. And yeah, for those first 3 months, fatigue was attributed to school/internship, nausea was blamed on last night's dinner, and small amounts of wine were consumed at the Shabbos table, all so that I could avoid having people speculate about a true, but nonetheless private matter (until such time that I decided to make it public). Of course, at this stage of the game, I can complain all I want, because it's pretty clear why :-)

Jughead's Hat said...

Wow. A tip jar. Amazing. If I had a paypal account, I might think of doing it.

stam[azoid] said...

two thumbs up

S said...

A Brian Regan quote Things to never, ever say): "so, when's the baby due?"

"What baby?"