Thursday, June 10, 2010

G-d Gave Me a Lot of Talents

But dancing isn't one of them...

No, seriously. I don't want to brag, but there are so many things I'm overwhelmingly good at. I known it's not me. It's a talent, a gift from G-d. But I guess dancing is His way of reminding me that I did nothing to deserve my talents and abilities, just as I did nothing to deserve my absolute mental block in the matter of dancing.

Nothing amuses me more than a friend telling me I know a weird dance. "'Cmon SD! You KNOW this one! I taught it to you in high school!" Er, yeah, and I'm @$*<£{ years out of high school. I wouldn't have been able to do it a week later, definitely not years later.

Perhaps my inner sore loser is making the policies here, but I recently announced that my wedding won't have dancing. The logic is simple: We dance at weddings to be mesameach the kallah. But dancing doesn't make me happy; it makes me dizzy. We need entertainment though, so we'll have a magic show. (Brilliant, isn't it? BigChamor, you should be getting jealous right around now.)

But it's more than my inability to enjoy dancing. It's the photographers. As if it's not bad enough when some dude jams a pole in your face as you get pronounced husband an wife, the dude follows you and your friends as you dance. It must be a great job for a guy. I can't speak for all photograhers, but the wedding I was at tonight had this delinquint photographer with a downward gaze that sure wasn't in the direction of the shots. That fella was having more fun than should even be legal!

Magic shows just wouldn't have this kind of problem.


Bookworm said...

I love dancing (I actually went to simcha dance classes when I was a kid) but wedding dancing falls into another category. Usually, it's a bunch of shrieking girls whose stiletto heels bang onto my toes too often, while the rest of the non-dancing guests glance repeatedly at their watches while they attempt to holler casual chit chat over the blaring speakers.

Plus, my mother has two left feet. And my father just shuffles.

How could I torture so many? Yet once HAS to have dancing, or else they're not religious. So I'll open with about 15 minutes of boogying.

To assist you in you're inabilities, be aware that there are a number of instructional simcha dance videos available.

Bored Jewish Guy said...

I have the same problem, of course no one believes me, they just assume I'm too shy or something. It's like they think "hey, BJG must be miserable over there, sipping his drink, conversing with a friend he hasn't seen in a while, let's go pull him into the middle of the circle so he can really enjoy himself". It's not that I have no rhythm though, I think I could dance to hip hop, maybe that would work for my wedding.

itsagift said...

What's if your chosson is a mad dancer? You'll have dancing on one side of the mechitzah, a magic show on the other and paper airplanes flying overhead!

MY Design said...

lol, that would def. be a blob of something different!!

Ariella said...

We can't all be good at everything. You get more opportunities to write than to dance anyway.