Today's post will demonstrate how hard it is to write a top ten list on a particular topic. Here's the deal. I give you a topic, you give me a top ten list for it, ok?
Top Ten Ridiculous Shidduch Inquiries
Post your list in the comments, or a link to your blog. (I'll add the links to this post.) Lets see what y'all can come up with!
17 comments:
Is he a tuna beigel?
(10 is my personal favorite)
1)How does Shani J. compare to Chani K.? (aside from the fact that this is loshon hara, this is terrible!)
2)Where did he/she go for pre-school?
3)How much do her mother and grandmothers weigh?
4)What color is his/her hair?
5)What color are his/her eyes?
6)Is he/she artistic?
7)Does he/she have a big nose?
8)Did he/she do well in math?
9)Where are his/her great-grandparents from?
10)At what age was the guy toilet trained?
Sesame or Poppy?
This was actually asked to my friend about me,
"How come she spells her name differently then her cousin?"
I've had one person say "Tell me something negative about her".... oh hmm.... well ummm.. she can't sing. that shall do it.
"Do they serve juice in a bottle or pitcher." they don't SERVE juice, they help them selves.
"Do they stack the dishes at a the table or take them off one at time." ummm what do you do? i asked. That did the job.
If they don't all have to be appropriate for a young audience, here goes mine.
10) Does he wear his tzitzis out?
9) Does he/she have friends? (as if anybody will answer negatively)
8) Does he have a good singing voice?
7) Does she wear colors or only black/white/grey?
6) Does she wear heels on dates?
5) What is her chest size (actually asked!!)
4) What did the grandparents die of? (more common in chassidish communities, but sometimes makes it to yeshiva communities)
3) I know she isn't thin, but is she big enough to win a guy in a wrestling match?
2)Does her brothers have peyos behind their ears?
1) Does she have good birthing-hips? (actually asked to my sister about a friend)
btw that was harder than expected.
@ Harry
#10 is a very good question to ask.
The way one wears his tzitzis says a lot about himself.
#3 is hilarious.
Harry, I don't know...
#1..for real????
I once wrote a post about a woman that asked really, er, interesting questions.
One example:
Mrs. X, "What are three important attributes that you can think of about her?"
My friend, thinks for a minute before answering.
Mrs. X, "Does she also have a hard expressing herself, like you do?"
Is that 5' 8" EXACTLY or 5' 7 1/2"?
Someone on the Imamother forum wrote that someone asked about a girl's level of tznius and put it as "Is she or more or less tznius than you?" She found that to be a ridiculous question, especially because she was a stranger to the one calling for the reference. She said, "for all they know I wear halter tops," so what does it signify if she categorizes the girls as "more tznius" than herself?
BTW someone I know who did the whole resume with tons of references and with specifications for a Lakewood type of guy just got engaged to a YU boy. So it just goes to show you that what some people think they're looking for is not what they actually are suited for.
One of my references was asked if I had an eating disorder. I don't, nor do I look like I do. While I think it's sad that such a question has to be asked, I understand where it's coming from.
Here you go; my Top 15 List ;-) : http://solelyinblackandwhite.blogspot.com/2010/06/top-15-actual-abnormal-dating-questions.html
@MusingMaidel, there are two reasons why it is absolutely necessary to find out about eating disorders.
1) To find out if she still has any overt, lingering effects from the disorder. A friend once went out with someone who had very serve body image issues and was overly critical about herself and my friend in a very bad way. These sorts of things will absolutely have negative effects every day of a marriage. A guy should see if he can personally handle a person with such issues or not.
2) Even if the girl has, thank G-d, "gotten over" her disorder via therapy and whatever and is totally fine now, it behooves the guy to approach interacting with her in a sensitive fashion. He should be aware that certain topicss or remarks, which are entirely neutral with most every other person, may be hurtful or insensitive to her based on her experiences. Being a proper gentleman on a date includes not making offensive comments/remarks, and this becomes an issue when going out with someone who has an eating disorder in her past.
@feivel- it says A LOT about him? I beg to differ, it may say something, but not a lot. Take me for example, I will wear my tzitzis out in yeshiva, a frum community, etc, but I will tuck them in when I am at college (this was the advice of my rebbeim), in anti-semetic neighborhoods (where I grew up), or in certain other settings.
Also, wearing tzitzis out in public may be more of how you grew up, your schools agenda in the issue, your community, or personal preference. But it does not say anything about the persons own religiosity. Kinda like saying that wearing certain styles of hats makes you more or less religious.
@mystery woman-
yes, seriously.
@ shades of grey: eating disorders can also irreversibly impair certain biological functions--and can lead to permanent infertility
Harry,
My mother set up a guy once and after the first date he said 'no' citing your #5 as his reason.
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