Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Real Age Test

"Hello?"
"Hi, SD?"
"Yeah, that's me. Who's calling please?"
"Hi, my name is Nosey Shadchan. My Sister-in-law breindel is a cousin of Pesha, the neighbor of your friend Hindel. She says your friends are all married (nebich) and you are desperate to get married too."
"Uh?"
Ed-Do I give off that impression? Like, enough that everyone has their neighbors' cousins' sisters-in-law coming up with suggestions?
"So anyway, let me tell you about Yankel. Mamish a catch."
"O-Ok...?"
"So he has amaaaaazing middos and bla bla bla bla so I told him that bla bla bla bla his father is a bla bla bla bla bla from a chashuva family. His mother is the daughter of bla bla bla bla. SO he is- wait, how old are you again?"
"I'm ^%&#*@ years old."
"Oh, ok, so he is 29. Is that too old for you?"
"Erm, that's a numch of years older...but I guess 29 isn't a problem. But..."
"But what, mamalah?"
"But I just wonder if he is really 29. I mean, I think that in shidduchim, people stay 29 for a couple of years. I don't really want to marry someone in his low thirties."
"Okaaay...well I guess I can look into his age and find out if he is really 29."
"If he is, call me back."
"Ok, will do.
"Thanks, and thanks for thinking of me."

It's been four weeks, and I haven't heard from her. I'm thinking 34 sounds about right.

8 comments:

Goose said...

This is an actual conversation between my father and someone trying to set him up with someone a very long time ago:
Shidduch Man "Are you dating?"
My Dad "I guess so."
Shidduch Man "Great! I have a great girl for you. She is really nice, did really well in school, her family is very wealthy, and I wouldn't exactly say she is retarded but..."
My Dad "Um...please don't suggest any shidduch for me again."

Not to say my dad is closed minded about people with mental issues (he works with developmentally delayed people).

halfshared said...

Lol. I've heard the same thing only recently. Who's educating you?

frum single female said...

i think that shadchanim just quote the age the person was when they met them even if it was ten years ago!

MusingMaidel said...

My mother accidentally did this once, but the shidduch actually worked out and they got married. I guess it has its uses :P

English Major said...

All of my 29 year olds become 34. It's reassuring, however, that the guys feel as much of a need to lie about their age as stereotypical females do.

Michaltastik said...

I got an Email once to call someone I know... I said why? well, there's a guy....

me reading email... GROAN

ok... spew out some questions...

I'm sure you'll be happy with the answer to all those questions.

me: BUT? There was clearly a but.. there.


He has a disability....

me... what kind?

Visual

my thoughts: am I ugly? Email back... so what is it that he that made you think of the shidduch?

um... I don't know... it's not my idea.

Then who's was it?

Oh, never mind!


Would anyone else be insulted? I was bashed for this on some blogs and a Yahoo group behind my back.

itsagift said...

Oiy...

FeistyFrummy said...

OMG! I'm actually going through this problem right as we speak! (I know you wrote this a while back but I guess this issue is kind of timeless ;) I was suggested to a guy who according to several different sources is allegedly 21, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, AND 39 all at the same time. I'm confused. ;)