Would You Compromise?

I am going to finish up my train of thought of my previous posts with this final theory. I don't know if I am making sense with all these theories, in fact, I kinda doubt I am. But maybe this will help clarify things for you, regarding the previous posts also.

"Would you compromise in shiduchim?"
It's a common question, which I face often. And my answer is, always, "Absolutely NOT!" Are you surprised? Why? Would I be expected to compromise? Why? ;) Ok, I know why you may think so, but listen to me first.

Yes, I would be willing to marry a boy with a "BUT", even a boy with TBB. But it's not a compromise. Here's why.

All day, every day, Hashem is busy making shiduchim. Forty days before I was born, he decided who I am going to marry and when I'm going to marry him. Now the issue is getting us together. He's there. I'm here. But we need to match. Imagine each couple is a two piece puzzle. Whatever ridges and grooves there are in me (my piece of the puzzle), have to correspond to whatever ridges and grooves he has. Think about it! It's a massive job, one that would only be able to be done properly by the Master Planner himself.
How can we get SD and DPC to be compatible? Well, if SD has been and changed in xyz way, then she needs a boy who has been through ----- and has changed similarly. Not as a result of diabetes, but some other things I've been through, I don't think I would be able to marry a boy who hasn't matured (in my way). We simply wouldn't be very compatible. I have bumps on my puzzle piece. Don't get me wrong. These are bumps that have made me into a better person. But, I have them, and they ain't going away. I need someone who has them too.
It's as simple as that. I don't call it a compromise. It's a matter of fitting together.
Would I compromise? No, I wouldn't marry a lesser boy. Yes, I would marry a BETTER boy.
It's as simple as that.

So, back to our discussion:
~Have I changed?
~Is change even good?
~How do you define maturity?
Here is my answer(s):
~Yes I have changed.
~Change can be good or bad depending on what kind of change.
~ Change is good if it leads to maturity.
~ I wouldn't compromise, but I WOULD marry a more mature boy.

Did that make any sense? Probably not, but it's as much sense as I can make, as this is my view of things, take it or leave it.... :-)

Sometimes You Gotta Wait!

Shabbos Chanukah arrived,
My siblings-in they flew,
Brothers from Yeshivah,
And married siblings too.
My usually empty room,
Got a roommate for the night.
It was my quietest niece,
So I thought I'd be alright.
It was really really late,
2:30 to be precise,
When my niece woke me up screaming,
'Twas hard to be so nice!
But I knew she was hungry,
And needed to be fed,
So before her cries woke up the house,
I jumped up outta bed.
I tried to make a bottle,
But I'm really not the best,
I'd never made one in my life,
So I got put to the test,
I tried to find a bottle,
And I needed formula too!
But meanwhile my niece screamed,
Quite a tantrum she threw!
I wanted to take her into my arms,
And cuddle her real tight,
And say to her "shush little one
Everything will be alright!"
"I know you want that bottle,
I'm making it for you!
But it takes some time to make it
Taste just right for you!
I'm working as fast as I possibly can,
To put your troubles to an end
But please calm down meanwhile,
And to your cries I'll tend!"
And then I realized, as I finish,
That I do the very same thing,
I want health, happiness, a good job,
And of course, I want a ring!
I scream and cry, I beg and plead,
That Hashem should hurry and give,
All that I ask for, and then,
Happily ever after I'll live!
So Hashem takes me in his arms,
And hugs me really tight,
And he says "shush little one,
Everything will be alright"
"I know you want some of this,
And some of that sounds nice,
I'll give it all to you,
You don't have to ask twice!
But please exhibit patience,
Rome wasn't built in a day,
As soon as the time is right,
I'll send yeshuos your way.
So please calm down right now,
There's no need to scream and cry,
I can't give it to you today,
Soon you'll see the reason why,"
So for now, I must stay calm,
And recognize my place,
While this wait is something not so fun,
It's something I must face.
The good is there, it might just take,
A bit of time to prepare,
So I'll have to stop my crying,
I won't shed another tear!
My niece's bottle I prepare,
At the quickest possible pace,
So too, I feel content to know,
I'm in Hashem's embrace!

The Meaning of Chanukah-and Life

I need a few days to compose my thoughts regarding maturity, change, and it's impact on my shiduchim prospects and put it together in words. So, I am taking a little break to post this thought regarding chanukah and life. It's a little spiritual and serious, so try not to be too shocked! ;)

There was a young couple, not too long after their wedding, who received excellent news. They were soon going to be parents! For nine exciting months, they planned and dreamed. One bright day, her contractions started. A quick ride to the hospital, a few grueling hours of labor, and the first cries were heard. Their little miracle was born. A little baby boy. It wasn't too much later that the doctor came into her room, grim faced. In a solemn tone, the doctor told them that he has some bad news. The parents were shocked. THEIR baby? How could it be? Their baby is surely perfect! Nothing could be wrong, could it? With trembling hands and terror in their voices, the parents asked the doctor for further information. So the doctor explained. "Your baby has been born with a life threatening condition. We don't know when it will kill him. It might be an hour, a day, a week, a month. Maybe it will be after a year, or several years, but surely it will kill him. It might kill him suddenly, with absolutely no warning. It might kill him after a prolonged illness which might cause him untold suffering and pain. He may have to be hospitalized a number of times to treat complications of his condition. He may have trouble in school as a result of his condition. It might cause him difficulty making and keeping friends. Other children might taunt him as a result of his condition. It's even possible your son will suffer from mental >or emotional issues stemming from his condition." The parents are stunned. Speechless. They can't believe the way their dreams and hopes just blew away in an instant. When he finally finds his voice, the father ventures to ask "What about research? Are they working on a cure, or at least a treatment, for my son's condition?" Sadly, the doctor shook his head. He explained that due to the nature of the condition, there simply is nothing that modern science can do about it. The brand-new mother manages to stammer out, in a tear-choked voice, "what is this horrible condition from which my son suffers? What is it called?"To that the doctor replied very simply: "it's called life."

Yes. Life. Life will cause all of this bad things to happen to a person. And everyone eventually does die from "life". So what is it that makes a new baby's birth a joyous occasion, rather than a cause for mourning? The answer lies in Chanukah. On chanukah, we celebrate our triumph over the Greeks. They didn't want to kill us. They wanted to kill our purpose in life. They wanted to take away our ability to learn Torah, to do Mitzvos, to do Hashem's will. On Chanukah, we celebrate our freedom to do all of these things. We celebrate that our lives are not a means of getting to our deaths, but rather, getting to something much greater than anything we can experience in this world. And so, at Chanukah parties all over the world, as people celebrate the festival of lights with donuts and latkes, try to remember: Chanukah is about living an enlightened existence. It's about raising ourselves up from the depressing existence called "life". It's about getting from here to Olam Habah, not from here to death. That being said, enjoy your latkes and your donuts. Oh, AND your life. Happy Chanukah!

Some Laughs, Compliments of BOSD's NEW One Liners Blog!

I was feeling a bit of an overload from the seriousness of the latest posts. I mean, maturity is only good up to a certain point.....so-together with Little Sheep, I started a one liners blog. It's over at http://bosdoneliners.blogspot.com/. Check it out, and email me any funny one liners you have!

How do you define maturity?

I think maturity is an extremely misunderstood topic. How do you define maturity? Which of the following would you consider more mature?

Girl 1: She is a model student. Her teachers love her because she always behaves in class, does her work, and does well on tests. She takes notes in all her classes. Her loose leaf is always perfectly neat, with all her papers exactly in place. Her behavior in school is impeccable. She is quiet and refined, and keeps to herself.

Girl 2: She is a less than perfect student. Her teachers find themselves gritting their teeth when they think of her. She often falls asleep in class. Her teachers can't figure out why, despite being quite smart, she is always flunking tests-due to lack of effort. Instead of taking notes, during class she is drawing nasty pictures of the teachers. She will always be the one laughing in the hallways over the latest joke. (And it's very likely she is laughing very loudly.)

You are probably shaking your head, saying to yourself, man is that second girl a BABY! She should learn a little from that first girl. So let me add on the following scenario:

Girl 1: Her father is very sick and needs to be rushed to the emergency room by ambulance. She panics and runs to her bedroom in tears, and she won't come out.

Girl 2: Her father is very sick and needs to be rushed to the emergency room by ambulance. She helps her father get together whatever he might need in the hospital, sends her little brother out to wait for the ambulance (to make sure they know where to go). When hatzolah arrives, she brings them into the room, answers their questions, and helps them with whatever they need to take care of. After sending the little siblings to their friends, she drives to the hospital to sit in the emergency room with her mother. When her father finally gets admitted, despite being 4 am, she drives her mother and herself home, so that they can catch a few hours sleep before she drives back the next morning...

Ok, are you getting the picture? Girl 1 is MP, and Girl 2 is yours truly, SD.

Am I saying that I am the height of maturity? As all of my high school teachers would surely agree, I am FAR from the most mature person you'll ever meet. But, MP, who conveys such a perfectly mature image, is a whole lot less mature. According to MY definition of mature.

Does it really matter how loud or quiet someone acts? Who cares if I make a lot of jokes? Ok, maybe I laugh a little loud, but does that really matter? Wouldn't you say, that the thing that matters most is how a person reacts in the face of adversity? In a crisis situation, who would you prefer to have around? MP or SD? Is maturity measured by the amount of laughter included in a person's day? Or is it measured by things that matter a little more. Here is another example:

MP and SD go to a shiur together. MP brings along her shiurim loose leaf. Inside are pages and pages of neatly written notes on all previous shiurim she had attended. SD comes to the shiur and takes off her bracelet. She spends the entire shiur fiddling with it. MP wonders why SD bothers to come to the shiur, if she is not even listening or taking notes. But, while MP has a beautiful loose leaf filled with all the speeches she's been to in the last couple of years, SD has internalized the lessons. No, she can't repeat back all of the lessons she's heard. She can't even remember who said what. But when she is going through a rough time, she uses the various lessons she has internalized to pull her through.

Does MP seem more mature? Maybe to the uneducated, unthinking eye. Maybe to someone who doesn't know her very well. But, who do you really think is the more mature one?

Here is my definition of mature. A mature person is someone who has been through things in their life and has used those things to grow and develop as a person, and will use prior life experience to overcome and withstand hardships.

So this brings me back to changing as a result of having diabetes. What you have to realize is, change could be good, and it could be really bad. It depends on the nature of the change. I'll explain what I mean in my next post... Right now I am headed to the gym so I can try and outgrow my "juvenile diabetes" ;) (LOL)

Have I changed? Is change even good?

Have I changed since I was diagnosed? Well, considering I was diagnosed at the age of 12, I would really hope I did. I mean, when I was diagnosed I still played with dolls for heavens sake! (Now I just wish I could play with dolls. They're so fun!!) Also, when I was diagnosed with diabetes I was the kind of kid that screamed at the mere sight of a needle. I mean, my father had to take me to get shots whenever I needed them cuz my mother couldn't bare to hear her daughter scream so loud. The day I was diagnosed, the first time they checked my blood sugar, that tiny little poke that has become the most normal thing in my life, made me scream so loud I think they had to call down every staff member in the entire ER (including janitors;) to hold me down so they could poke me. Now....well, occasionally I put in a pump set and it hits a nerve and the resulting pain is so severe that you can probably hear my yelps from across the country. But on a normal basis though, you won't find me being restrained 6 to 10 times a day so that I can test my blood sugar. And I'm pretty sure the nurse at the lab found it strange when a 13 year old kid asked her if she can stick the needle in herself. So I guess I have changed.
But in all seriousness, all maybe not ALL but I'll try...lol...have I changed? And how can you tell if someone had changed as a result if diabetes, or anything else that happens to them in their lives?
And of course, we have to remember the most important question, which is: is changing as a result of hardships in life really a good thing??
Think about this. I dunno if any parents are reading this, but at least try to imagine you had a little child. Now try to imagine that that little child was diagnosed with type one diabetes. Picture this: the hospital staff is giving you a crash course in becoming a full time caregiver. You are learning about things you never thought normal people do. You are injecting your own child a couple of times a day, weighing every bite of food that goes into your 6 year old's mouth, poking his finger and learning to squeeze out a drop of blood, and of course, you are learning what a pancreas is, which is the best pharmacy in the neighborhood, and how long it takes to drive to the area's best pediatric endocrinology clinic.
There is probably one thought that stands out the loudest from the mess of thoughts flying through your brain. I mean, yes, you are probably wondering how you are supposed to be sleeping when you need to do 2 am blood sugar checks. And you probably get this sinking feeling in your heart when it occurs to you that frum private schools usually don't have full time school nurses. But one thought stands out most. Trust me. (Well, you probably shouldn't. I have never been through it from this point of view B"H.) you are thinking of your child. You are thinking: "I hope my child will still me able to live a normal life. I hope my child will still be able to do anything every other child does."
If someone would say to you at that point: "your child will develop a heightened sense of maturity as a result if all the suffering he'll endure" you'd probably get very upset. It would probably be the last thing your want to here at that point.
So I ask you again: is changing as a result if diabetes, or something else life throws at you such a good thing?
The answer is of course it is!
But in a different way than you think.
To understand my theory on this, you have to understand my view of maturity. So, before I write what I think maturity means, please tell me, what do you think maturity is?

The Big BUT

I have learned not to be jealous of anyone. That family that looks so content and happy has a sick family member, and that gorgeous girl in struggling though a rough family time. Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody lives struggle free. So it doesn't make sense to be jealous.

Someone gave this an analogy:

"Everyone in the world has their pekelach to shlep. Some people shlep it around in thick black garbage bags. Some people shlep it around in clear garbage bags which leaves no room for doubt as to what is inside."

I add:

"And sometimes the garbage bag splits open and the entire world sees what is inside..."

Either way, jealousy is just plain dumb.

So here is what I am jealous of. It's not a person, because that is stupid. I get jealous of ASPECTS of people's life. (Note, that many of these feeling are transient. I am jealous of it one day and don't really care the next...but here is a list of examples.)

-I am jealous of girls who don't have to pretend they understand when everyone is discussing dating stories.

-I am jealous of anyone who can eat a delicious looking piece of chocolate cake without thinking twice.

-I am jealous of anyone who does not have to work their kishkes out at the gym to keep healthy and not-too overweight.

-I am jealous of anyone who is super skinny and looks gorgeous in a slinky skirt and a tee shirt.

-I am jealous of anyone who is able to be terrified of needles.

-I am jealous of anyone who is happily married already... (!)

-I am jealous of anyone who....ok, enough on here. I am not trying to complain. (Unless maybe I should be...;)

But the number one thing I am jealous of, and this is not something I think of only when I walk into a bakery, or watch my sister do something clumsy. It is something I think about constantly. I think about this with every "MAZEL TOV ______ is engaged!!!!!!" text. I think about this when I go to vorts. showers, and weddings. I think about this when I see my friends parading around in their fancy shmancy sheitels. I think about this as as I shell out money for (yet another) kallah's present.

Here goes: Basically, I am jealous of girls who get redt shiduchim without going through this:

NS (Nosey shadchan): Hi Mrs. ______! I have a wonderful boy for your daughter SD!

Mom: Ok...?

NS: Well, he is a wonderful boy. Really wonderful!

Mom: Can you tell me about him?

NS: He is learning in lakewood, he is considered to be a really top boy.

Mom: ??

NS: So are you interested?

Mom: Well I need to hear a little about him first, please?

NS: I tell you this boy is such a catch you would have to be crazy to turn him down! He is mamish a top top bachur! He is such a masmid, you could chalish! I am telling you! Even being blind doesn't stop him from from learning so beautifully!

Mom: Blind?

NS: And he gets around so well on his wheelchair people almost forget he is in one! It's mamish a neis how independant he is! (Loud sniffle.)

Mom: Wheelchair?

NS: And I am telling you, when his father ran out on his family leaving his mother to cope with ten kids by herself, it just increased his bitachon. He is a MUCH better boy because of it!

Mom: um?

NS: And don't worry that he has 4 siblings who are off the derech. He is totally not like them. He is such an amazing boy with such special midos!

Mom: um...I don't think that...

NS: You don't think that what??

Mom: I mean, he sounds like a very special boy but my daughter was looking for someone more-

NS: If you are worried about him having the burden of parnassah for his large mishpacha (kineh hora) don't worry! He makes a lovely parnassah doing-

Mom: I thought you said he was a big masmid?

NS: Sure I did! He is koveah itim and during those two hours a day he mamish learns so well!

Mom: I don't think my daughter is looki-

NS: (angry) Now look here Mrs. ________! Your daughter is not well herself! {my note: oh YEAH?} She can't afford to be so choosy! Do you think she is getting younger?

Mom: Yes I know but-

NS: But nothing Mrs. ______. Your daughter will have to compromise, and you better face that. No regular boy would go out with her and you know it! Are you really going to let a few little issues get in your way?

Mom: Ok, I will talk to my daughter and my husband and get back to you.

NS: Ok, let me give you my number...

Mom: No, it's ok, I...um...I have caller ID.

NS: Ok Mrs. ______, I look forward to hearing from you!

Mom: Likewise. {snort}

NS: And you better act quick! You don't want to let such a good offer slip through your fingers!

Mom: Goodbye.

But those are kind of better, in a way, than these conversations:

WMS (well meaning shadchan. This is very different than a NS. A well meaning shadchan is usually a friend or family member.): Hi Mrs. _________, how are you? How is the family?

Mom: Good Baruch Hashem! And you?

WMS: Great! Baruch Hashem.....I am actually calling to redt a shiduch for your daughter, SD.

Mom: Ok, let me hear.....

WMS: Well he is a very fine boy, from an excellent family.

Mom: Ok, tell me about him.

WMS: Ok, he learned in [insert name of chashuv yeshiva in Eretz Yisroel here].

Mom: ok, sounds good, what else?

WMS: His father is a [select one: chashuve talmid chacham; Beloved rebbe; well known Ba'al Tzedakah.

Mom: Ok? What else?

WMS: He is very close to [insert name of rosh yeshivah here]. In fact you can call him for a reference.

Mom: Ok, I will take the number. What else can you tell me about this boy?

WMS: He has excellent midos. He comes from a really chashuv family. They have money and yichus and they are so warm and loving....

SD: (anxiously mouthing at Mom) Ask what the BUT is!

Mom: (to WMS) hold on a minute. (Cups hand over reciever, to me) I can't! It's a funny for me to ask!

SD: Ok! So I will. (Takes phone) Hi Mrs. WMS! I just wanted to ask you....

WMS: Oh, SD, did you hear all about this amazing boy I have for you?

SD: Yes, I did, and I have one question.

WMS: Yes?

SD: What's the BUT?

WMS: What?

SD: He's a great boy BUT....

WMS: (uncomfortable pause) Um...it's not a big deal, it's just that......

You can leave the rest up to your imagination. He has this issue and he has that issue, and the "regular" boys don't date ME.

So here is the latest addition to the BOSD glossary: TBB is The Big But. I have a different way of looking at this, but that's another whole post. Realize though, that TBB is ALWAYS there. In my case anyway.

There. I did it. I got out a shidduch rant without having ever been on a date, or even being in shidduchim. Wow. Now I deserve ice cream! :-D

The Legacy of Lot's Wife

Rubbernecking is not a new phenomenon.

Of all the wicked things the world may have learned from Lot and his wife, this has gotta be the most wicked. I mean, think about it; a man is on his way home from work. His boss yelled at him. His pen leaked on his brand new designer shirt. The coffee machine was broken and he had to drink instant coffee.

Basically, his day played out in true spirit of our old friend Murphy. Yet he didn't expect it to get this bad. He's driving down the garden state parkway, eager to get home so he can vent his frustrations on his poor unsuspecting wife. His mind is on the clever retort he should have said to the VP of sales, when the car in front of him slowed way down. He noticed it. But not in time.

Suddenly, he finds himself and his fancy new lexus SUV in the midst of a four car pileup. The embarrassment he feels as he waits for the police to come down and assess the damage he caused with his daydreaming, is painful. It is not made any better by the fact that the other three cars involved in the crash contained drivers who were in just slightly worse moods than he was.

But you know what is worst of all? The entire commuters force of north jersey has to slow down for a look at his dumb mistake. They need to try and figure out exactly who was responsible, and how badly damaged the lexus is. They each have to slow down to a point that they are able to pat themselves on the back and say "I witnessed a terrible accident today". Yet, what those same people need to realize is that they should also smack themselves across the face and say "I caused a traffic jam today."

While no, I don't know this guy personally, and in fact, I made the entire story up (as I am likely to do when I am stuck in traffic-make up very detailed stories about the other drivers). Also, I wouldn't know if it was a shiny new lexus SUV involved or an old banger of an oldsmobile.

Because I don't look. I mean, yes, perhaps if Lot's wife had managed to resist her urge to look back at the misfortunes of others, the world would be rather devoid of salt. But you must also realize that rubbernecking is wrong. Both for the parties involved in the accident, and for the millions of people who are forced to slow down because you needed a front row view of the action. So as I speed by the scene of an accident, for more reasons than one, I think of Lot's wife, and the awful misdeed she committed, which has carried on for generations.

(Next time I'm in traffic, think I should avoid philosophy?;)

Why you might find my blog disappointing

Or maybe, for some people, refreshing. (Something different...)
You see, my blog really IS something different. Most of the blogs you see that are written by a girl in shiduchim are actually written by girls in shiduchim. Not mine. I just fake it. I
Am not in shiduchim, and judging by the amount of people that have redt me shiduchim this far, once MP gets engaged I won't have much to say on the topic of shiduchim either. I'm not like my sister, MP, where we can serve the same cookies to three different boys. (yes, she really does run thru them that fast!) Nor am I like her in the sense that I will be turning down so many boys. (I have a post written about that but I need to fix it a little before I post it.) And in general I am not the type to such exciting stories happen to me on dates. Unless of course, it's something horrid happening to me. I can just see myself getting a nosebleed on a date. Or maybe tripping and falling and banging up my knees and ripping my tights and getting my suit all dirty is more my type of thing. Either way, I can tell you this.
I am terrified of dating.
Yep. I really am. Most people are afraid of the unknown, but I am worse than most people. I get very tense and nervous when I am not 100% sure of what's coming. So you can imagine how I feel about dating. It's strange to begin with. I mean, I spent four years in high school learning about how bad it is to talk to boys and completely isolating myself from any contact with boys. Suddenly, it's like- here! Go out with this guy!! Have fun! Don't worry about spending a night with what will likely turn out to be someone else's husband... Just get to know each other! Isn't that a contradiction of what we've been taught? Weird, no? Add to that the Dating horror stories I hear and you have one terrified little blob. I told my mother, I need to go on just ONE date to know what it's like and be less tense....but...MP has a list of boys to ditch and this light ain't turning green all that fast...

Use Your Brains!

Why don't people ever THINK?? It is so frustrating sometimes! Like today, I got the following text three times:

SPRINT FREE-MSG: All Sprint Customers send this message to ten people and sprint will credit your account $60.00* both billing or prepaid Happy Holiday!

Hello? Think about what you are writing.

a) This basically would mean that sprint is willing to give $60 to every customer they have. Which would mean sprint loosing millions of dollars. Why would they do that?

b) (This is the more important one) Do you really want sprint to know how many times you sent this message? Do you realize that would mean sprint knowing exactly which messages you sent to whom and what the context was? Think about that. If sprint really knew what all of our messages said, I would be the first one to block texting from my phone. Seriously. Hello?

Take these emails I get: 

"for every person you forward this to AOL will donate 5 cents to help cure my daughter" and all that other junk. Or what about: "Now forward this message and a really funny picture will pop up on your screen!" What is that insinuating? That this email will have the power to control my computer? Ooooh! That's a scary thought. I can just see why everyone would want to forward that...

Please, do me a favor. Next time you feel like an email you got was too good to be true, it probably was. And next time you think a text doesn't really make sense-it probably doesn't! Please! Use your brains! And if you are unsure, you can always check out snopes. They can help clarify things for you!

My Friend: Inspired

Inspired is a friend of mine. She is a fellow diabetic, and I rely on her to commiserate when I have diabetes related rants. We both find ourselves plagued by a common problem, which I alluded to in my previous post. So she was nice enough to explain about the way used test strips follow a diabetic, similar to the manner in which Mary's little lamb followed her around.

"When I need to test, I pull out my meter, stick in a strip, putt some blood on it, get a result, take out the strip, throw it out, and you're all done, right?

Not quite! Somehow, those pesky little strips make there way out of the garbage can and into the oddest places. I fold my newly washed sweaters and out pops-a test strip! When I am washing neggel vasser in the morning, i feel something on my hand...Yup! It's a test strip from my midnight test the night before. And when I am paying for something at the grocery store, I blush when out of my wallet pops-you guessed it! A used test strip! One comforting thing is that if I ever go missing I will know that they will find me really easily...they'll just follow the trail of test strips!"

Cleaning Your Room In 3,297 Easy Steps

1. Promise yourself you are not leaving the house until your room is cleaned.

2. Tell all your friends about your promise.

3. Push the stuff aside so you can open the door wide enough to get in.

4. Turn on the light.

5. Change the light bulbs.

6. Send your father out for more light bulbs.

7. Use the wrong kind until he can get to home depot.

8. Put in the light bulbs.

9. Ouch!

10. Turn off the light.

11. Put in the light bulbs.

12. Locate your bed.

13. Find clean linen.

14. Bribe your little sister to make your bed for you.

15. Smack your little sister.

16. Make the bed yourself.

17. Divide and conquer!

18. Choose the part of your room that looks easiest.

19. If none look easy pick the one that looks the least hard.

20. Take a bag and get rid of all garbage from on top of the dresser.

21. Put makeup back into makeup bag.

22. Blush because it's been two weeks since you last put on makeup.

23. Which means you couldn't find a spare minute in the last two weeks to put it away.

24. Look in mirror.

25. Make sure nose isn't growing.

26. Answer your friends texts.

27. Reply to her next text.

28. Check your email.

29. Respond to your emails.

30. Find something to eat.

31. Get back to work before I tell on you!

32. Pick up an April issue of the Mishpacha magazine.

33. Read through it.

34. Try to figure out why you still have it.

35. Chuck it regardless of your reason.

36. Pat yourself on the back for overcoming your tendency to save everything.

37. Treat yourself by reading your latest texts.

38. Forward the joke to all your contacts.

39. Get back to work!!

40. Open your top drawer.

41. Fold up your summer tee shirts.

42. Place in storage container for next summer.

43. Dream about loosing weight and not being able to wear them next summer.

44. Stop daydreaming or you will never finish!!!

45. Pick up 38 used blood sugar test strips from the bottom of your drawer.

46. Count them, just to prove you have no life.

47. Consider making a collage out of them.

48. Throw them out.

49. Wonder why the music isn't on.

50. Blast the music.

51. NOT a slow song.

52. Blast a fast song.

53. Fold your load of fresh sweaters.

54. Be grateful you have a cleaning lady.

55. Put the sweaters into the newly emptied drawers.

56. Pat yourself on the back!

57. One part down, a million parts left!

58. Look at the chair.

59. Groan.

60. Stop groaning, people are starving in africa.

61. Go eat supper.

62. Take two advils.

63. GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!

64. Open your door.

65. Groan.

66. No! You didn't finish yet!

67. NO! The good fairy didn't come while you were eating supper.

68. Decide on your next plan of attack.

69. No! Going to sleep doesn't count!

70. Yes, clearing off the desk sounds like a good plan.

71. Provided you can find it.

72. Maybe you should look under that heap of junk.

73. Congrats!

74. That's your desk!

75. Um...wait...is it?

76. Yes! It definitely is! Now clear it off.

77. Take a garbage bag.

78. Throw out everything on your desk that you don't recognize.

79. Go to the kitchen.

80. Get some plastic gloves.

81. Resume throwing out that which you don't recognize.

82. Now throw out that which you didn't know you owned.

83. Now throw out everything you wouldn't want clogging up your life.

84. Look, there is your laptop!

85. DON'T turn it on.

86. Step away! I said DON'T!

87. Good! You can turn it on later.

88. Now figure out what you are going to do with the good stuff on there.

89. Think twice if you need everything on there.

90. Relax a minute.

91. It's time to attack the closet!!

92. No, you can't do it later.

93. Ok, if you insist you can work on the floor first.

94. You asked for this!

95. Yes, you really DO have to bend down!

96. Don't complain about your back! You aren't a grandmother!

97. Where are you going to put that?

98. And that?

99. And that?

100. And that?

101. And that?

102. And that?

103. And that........?

104. Yes, you do have to put EVERYTHING in place.

105. No, you should not leave this for so long.

106. Return your sister's crocs to her room and hope she doesn't realize that it was YOU who took them.

107. Return your brother's crocs to his room and hope he doesn't realize that it was YOU who took them.

108. Try on all your shoes "just to make sure they still fit"...

109. Line them all up neatly in the closet.

110. See? It's looking better already!

111. Take a bathroom break.

112. Sneak a peek at the texts you got since you last checked.

113. Promise yourself you will only answer ONE text.

114. Answer all five texts.

115. Try to convince yourself that you are not addicted to texting.

116. GET BACK TO WORK!

117. Where are you going to put that??

118. You're kidding, right?

119. You aren't really gonna keep that, are you?

120. Pick up some more used test strips from the floor.

121. No need to count them.

122. Yes, this room would be a lot easier to clean without all the stray diabetes paraphernalia to organize.

123. Ok, you really have to fold that laundry you did last week.

124. It doesn't matter if it's stuff you are putting away for next year.

125. You still need to fold it!

126. Fold it neatly or you will find yourself regretting it in a few months.

127. Put away summer clothes-again!

128. You may need some refreshments before attempting the closet.

Steps 129 through 3,297 are trade secrets, and I can't give them away. People might learn my super-efficient method of cleaning.

(Well, alright, that's not completely true. Well, it's not true at all. I didn't finish cleaning yet so I can't post the rest of the steps...)

OMGICZMJ!!

I love abbreviations. My ultimate dream is to make up an abbreviation for something that'll become a regular part of the English language, like LOL, IMHO, or OMG. You may have noticed (read: you'd have to be blind not to notice) that I enjoy making these up. I'm going to try to keep the BOSD glossary up to date, but if you notice one that I didn't include please let me know.

First prize goes to the one who can figure out what the title stands for!!

MY kind of humor...

Ok, a little explanation about my new blog layout is in order. I found this way too funny. Here's why:

(Scene: school shabbos, in the middle of the afternoon)

Me: Hi! Would you like some chocolate?

Sadly Misinformed Classmate: What? Why are you eating that??

Me: Oh. (Blushes) Well I know it's milk chocolate but I know that the school food is really bad so I didn't even taste it. I am still milchigs. (smug)

SMC: Oh. I didn't even notice that, and anyway, I am milchigs too. I just meant that.... (embarrassed)

Me: That what? (I have a feeling I know exactly what she is trying to say but I am not about to make it any easier for her.) 

SMC: Well doesn't it have sugar?

Me: (enjoying this:-D) Yes, it does. So?

SMC: You can't have sugar!

Me: (taking a bite of chocolate, with mouth very full) Can't I?

SMC: But don't you have......um....diabetes? 

Me: Yes. So?

SMC: So you can't have sugar!

Me: Yes I can! (takes another bite!) I can eat whatever I like!

Point is, people with diabetes not being able to eat any sugar is probably the biggest, and most annoying diabetes myth out there. If you read my post explaining what diabetes is all about then you know that whether something has sugar, or any other form of carbohydrates, it effects your blood sugar. I can eat sugar, just the same way I can eat cookies, rice cakes, fruit, challah, danishes, potatoes, rice, cakes, cookies and cupcakes. I wear in insulin pump which is connected to me at all times. If I want to eat anything with carbohydrates (sugar or otherwise), I push a few buttons on my pump and voila! I can eat it! Just like you! It's THAT simple! 

If you weren't sure until now whether or not I was crazy, here you go. This is SO my type of humor. There are probably people out there who think that my blood sugar will go high just by LOOKING at those cupcakes...It won't btw.

So if you have friends with diabetes, please realize that they can eat whatever they would like. Please also realize that they have a lot more experience taking care of people with diabetes than you do, and that they probably don't need your advice. For more info on what to say/not to say to people who have diabetes, you can watch this youtube video. Though it's meant for people who have diabetes, I think it can be interesting to others too. (I was going to link now to a page explaining the various myths regarding diabetes so I might have to write my own...even though I'm sure nobody wants to read it...lol)

(By the way, sorry that I keep changing the looks of a BOSD. I just need to get it right...)

EBM versus NIMBY

EBM, or everyone but me, is a syndrome that we find quite often plaguing the world. Everyone but me has cute shoes, everyone but me is talented, everyone but me has a million friends, Everyone's father but mine buys them their own car. Everyone but me goes on a date with a different "best bochur" every night. (is that a good thing???) Everyone. Ya right.
NIMBY, or not in my backyard, is sort of the opposite, but it actually goes hand in hand with EBM. There are people in this world who can't afford to buy shoes?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who live in an environment where they don't have the freedom to use their talents?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who cry themselves to sleep every night out of sheer loneliness?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who don't have any legs and therefore can't drive?? NIMBY! And there are people in this world who have never been on a date in their lives???? Absolutely NIMBY!!
Isn't it strange? We have ALL of these problems, yet the people who suffer so much more than us are NIMBY. Not in my backyard, not anywhere close enough to make me feel uncomfortable with my bounty of good.
Sometimes I think people would be so much happier if people would forget to complain about EBM, and at the same time realize that these things are IMBY (in my backyard). Doesn't it make things easier to internalize this?
(by the way, I am speaking to my little sister right now, because she thinks her life is the pits.)

You Vant Everyting?

My favorite joke in the world:

A shaddchan corners a yeshiva bochur and says, "Boy I have a girl for you!".

"Not interested", replies the bochur.

"But she's beautiful ! ", says the shaddchan

"Yeah?" says the bochur.

"Yes. And she's very rich too."

"Really?"

"And she has great yichus! From a very fine family."

"Sounds great." says the bochur. "But why would a girl like that want to marry me? . . . She'd have to be crazy."

Replies the shaddchan "Well, dats only a small thing, you can't expect everything!"

What is Black and White and Red(t) All Over?

My problem with the cookie cutter people (known here as More of the Same, or MOTS), is that they see things in black and white. 

She is good. She is bad.

He is smart. He is dumb.

They are frum. They are not.

Why should it be like this?

This girl from my grade met me the other night and told me she has a boy for me. I couldn't be rude, so I resisted my temptation to stick my fingers in my ears and yell "nyah nyah nyah nyah I'm not listening!" Instead I had to smile and say "oh really?" "Yes", she said. "He seems like a really sweet boy" "How do you know him?" I dared to ask. Bad move. "Well, over the yomim tovim I was staying in someone's house and they have a shul in their basement and he was doing construction down there." Am I dreaming? "Not for me, but thanks anyway" (for what???) "Oh, well I think he is a really nice boy and you should think about it." I was really getting upset by then, so I said "Really, that's not the type of boy I am looking for." That was apparently not the answer she was looking for. "Well he really made me think of you. (????) I mean, yes he was wearing jeans but he is still frum and everything!" I decided to end this painful conversation for once and for all. "I am looking for a learning boy, but thanks anyway." Her mouth dropped open at that point. SD looking for a learning boy? But she's so DIFFERENT! Right, I am different, but what does that have to do with anything? I mean, no, I don't want a cookie cutter, MOTS kind of guy. I am looking for a boy who learns because he loves Hashem and His torah and when (if?) he will go out to work he will still live his life around torah. But he will be different than the typical. So why is this weird? Maybe because I didn't care much about school? Maybe because I didn't go to the most academic seminary? Maybe because I am a little different? 

Or take my brother for example. He is a great guy with excellent middos. I seriously envy his wife, as he will be the most caring and considerate husband ever. But, he is really a perfect example of MOTS, the kind of person who sees things in black and white. 

"Oh, him? He is really modern. He probably can't even read hebrew!"

or "That boy is totally off the derech!" when in reality he is talking about a boy who left his yeshivah to learn in a less intense yeshivah. Is that so bad? Well it aint white so it must be.....

Black and White

(Answer: The best bochur in Lakewood...)

My OTHER blog, and a bit about diabetes

My Internet was down since last week, by the way, in case anyone was wondering why it took me so long to post again.

I am assuming that most of my (non existent) readers are not very interested in diabetes. But I have it. I deal with it daily, it's a part of me, a part of my daily routine. So when I have something to say that is heavy into the diabetes aspect of my life, it gets posted on: http://karpoozi123.blogspot.com/ When I have random dumb things to say they will go here.
Did anyone notice the common thread between my two blog names? One is called "floating down the karpoozi river" the other is "a blob of something different". They both come from the book the Twinkie Squad, by Gordon Korman. (Yes, I do need to grow up. Why do you mention it?)

The functions of my two (or should I say two of my-lol) blogs are actually opposites. If you read my other blog (not that I am recommending it) you might get a rather negative picture of diabetes. When I have something to rant about regarding diabetes, it goes up there. Like today my blood sugar was reall-oops, wrong blog! ;) On here I will explain to the world why diabetes is not so bad and everyone should be lining up to go out with me. 

(Btw, a note about my other blog: the intended audience is people with diabetes, not frum yidden. If you actually decide to read it you may wonder why it is written like that....)

I do want to explain a little bit about diabetes on here, just to clarify things.  Here is what diabetes is all about: (in point form...for those who've had a long day)

-There is an organ in the body called the pancreas.

-In the pancreas there are cells called the "Islets of Langerhans"

-The Islets of Langerhans produce a hormone called Insulin

(meanwhile)

-A person ingests food.

-The food gets broken down into the simplest form of that food.

-ALL carbohydrates get broken down into glucose.

-Glucose gets absorbed into the bloodstream.

-A hormone-Insulin-helps transport the insulin from the blood stream into the cells.

-Once in the cells, glucose is used to produce energy.

The body produces exactly the right of insulin needed by your body to maintain the correct blood sugar levels.

From here this is about type one diabetes only!

-In some people, for some UNKNOWN, UNPREVENTABLE reason, the body kills off the insulin producing cells.

-This results in a reduction of the insulin being produced.

-Less insulin means more sugar in the blood (a condition known as hyperglycemia-or high blood sugar.)

-High blood sugar means the body is not making proper use of the carbohydrates which are consumed.

-Eventually, the blood sugar creeps up and the person is diagnosed with type one diabetes. 

-The person is put on insulin injections to manage his condition.

(Here is the POINT of all this explaining I just did.)

-THE PERSON WITH DIABETES IS NOT SICK!

-The process we do to maintain normal blood sugar levels is something YOUR body does naturally.

-If our diabetes is well controlled, our blood sugar remains the SAME as someone without diabetes.

-That means we are JUST as healthy as anyone else.

-It is not a matter of taking care of an illness we have, rather, controlling diabetes is a matter of doing manually the things which your body does automatically.

Now do you see why it irks me when people call me sick? I actually think that I am healthier than most people you know. I am more aware of my body, of the way various foods affect me. I know how to take care of myself. I am perfectly healthy and I can do anything that others can do. 

Bursting the Happy-Bubble

I really think this older sister/aka red light/aka annoying/aka miss perfect of mine is really a blessing. Yes it is frustrating that I go to lechaims, vorts, showers and weddings and I am not even in shiduchim yet, but this sister of mine is really (unknowingly) helping me a lot. 

(scene: my house.)

[Phone rings]

My father: I am not getting it it's not for me.

My mother: I don't feel like getting up now. If they really need to reach me they can call my cellphone.

My 14 year old sister: Can someone run get the phone! It might be my best friend!

My 22 year old sister: IT'S NOT FUNNY!! It might be someone calling to redt a shiduch! Mommy, you HAVE to pick up!

Now, realize that 99 percent of the time the calls are not shiduch related. (Not such a big deal when you stop to consider that 96 percent of the calls to my house come from my little sister's best friend.) 

I am now talking about the one percent. The shiduch calls.

Nosey Shadchan: I am calling to redt a shiduch.

My mother: ok.....?

NS: for your daughter P (short for perfect).

My mother: oh.

And the conversation goes on. The point of this entire very long, drawn out post is that they are ALL for my sister P. But of course! Why would anyone be calling for SD? She is not in shiduchim yet! As soon as P gets engaged...the phones will be ringing off the hook for SD (something different). Ye right. 

So you see why it's good I have this older sister before me? I kinda dread the day my sister gets engaged. Then I will be getting the calls for me. But that's another depressing post...

A Blob of Something Different

One of the greatest books in the world is The Twinkie Squad, by Gordon Korman. In it, there is a group of middle school children who don’t fit into the typical mold of all the other children. Therefore, they are forced to join the schools “special discussion group” known to the rest of the school as the “twinkie squad”. As described by Douglas, the ringleader of the group, (or chief twinkie, depending on who you ask.) middle school is like a well oiled machine in a plastic factory. In goes a blob of plastic and out comes a little toy dinosaur or some other little trinket. The Twinkie Squad is the story of what happens when you put a blob of something different into the machine.
That is the story of me. A typical Bais Yaakov girl on the outside, a blob os something different on the inside. I never DID fit the usual mold, and I don’t see how I ever will. This blog will record my journey to finding a different sort of prince charming, the sort that doesn’t mind a blob of something different. (Hence known as a BOSD)
Please join me on my journey. It will be a roller coaster ride on some days and a boring trek on others. But one thing I will promise you is: it’ll be something different.