Or maybe, for some people, refreshing. (Something different...)
You see, my blog really IS something different. Most of the blogs you see that are written by a girl in shiduchim are actually written by girls in shiduchim. Not mine. I just fake it. I
Am not in shiduchim, and judging by the amount of people that have redt me shiduchim this far, once MP gets engaged I won't have much to say on the topic of shiduchim either. I'm not like my sister, MP, where we can serve the same cookies to three different boys. (yes, she really does run thru them that fast!) Nor am I like her in the sense that I will be turning down so many boys. (I have a post written about that but I need to fix it a little before I post it.) And in general I am not the type to such exciting stories happen to me on dates. Unless of course, it's something horrid happening to me. I can just see myself getting a nosebleed on a date. Or maybe tripping and falling and banging up my knees and ripping my tights and getting my suit all dirty is more my type of thing. Either way, I can tell you this.
I am terrified of dating.
Yep. I really am. Most people are afraid of the unknown, but I am worse than most people. I get very tense and nervous when I am not 100% sure of what's coming. So you can imagine how I feel about dating. It's strange to begin with. I mean, I spent four years in high school learning about how bad it is to talk to boys and completely isolating myself from any contact with boys. Suddenly, it's like- here! Go out with this guy!! Have fun! Don't worry about spending a night with what will likely turn out to be someone else's husband... Just get to know each other! Isn't that a contradiction of what we've been taught? Weird, no? Add to that the Dating horror stories I hear and you have one terrified little blob. I told my mother, I need to go on just ONE date to know what it's like and be less tense....but...MP has a list of boys to ditch and this light ain't turning green all that fast...
21 comments:
u ain't nearly as scared as me...
Right, but I am scared in a different way. I think I am more afraid of MYSELF dating. I am so the type to mess it up!
I can tell you not to be scared, but you'll be anyway, but it's really an anticipation that doesn't live up to its expectations.
Guys are people, they just happen to well guys, and they're not half as intimidating, or fun as people make them out to be.
Do you have any brothers to practice on?
You're right SI, I would be very scared no matter what. Like I said, it would only take one date to calm me down about the whole process.
My closest brother to shiduchim is 17, and as I told my mother recently, I think he is a great guy and whoever marries him is lucky, but he has SO much to learn about dating! There is no way I can get any practice with him...
I guess I am doomed to live thru this fear until MP's prince charming comes along... :(
Every guy has a lot to learn about dating...especially the ones who are dating...
but if you ever want your hits to go up, even if it's temporarily, write about shidduchim, people love to watch and see your wreckage...a bit like rubbernecking
ok tomorrow's post will be as depressing of a shiduch post as I can think up. Will you please spread the word? ;)
Make sure to be funny, and not whiny or else everyone will be sympathetic but secretly snorting behind your back...don't think you'll have a problem with that.
I am taking that as a compliment-no matter how you meant it....
I am not sure how it'll come across to people. I think I whine a lot about my shiduchim situation to friends, but in writing I seem to come across as more upbeat. (Unintentionally....?!)
I guess we'll wait and see.
Is your basic idea that people are happy reading about someone who is worse off than they are?
Well people always feel better when they hear s/o has it worse than them, even though they'd outwardly like to win the kvetching contest...
...but really that people have this facination with shidduchim...is it because it's relationships, because it is so life altering, that it is so emotional, that it's so secretive...whatever it is, everyone wants to know (and wish for a happy ending)
As for writing...I'm very differnt than my blogging persona...well, not so differnt, but there's a lot more to me than my blog let's on, I do it intentionally though.
omg i know its horrible but i love talking about my friend's dates because to me, its like a soap opera or tv show while to her its real life. so mean of me sometimes.
Ok. The post is scheduled to go up tomorrow morning. I am rather tired so I am not sure if I know what it says....
SI- Anyway, please tell me what you think...I think I came across as whiney-in my weird kinda way...
Tembrow, it is always more fun to laugh when it is someone else's life, isn't it?
Read the new post, commented....you were a little whiny at points, but then you got out of it...
SI- I didn't see a comment on the new post?
If I was only a little whiney, then I think I am doing good. In real life I am more than a little whiney...LOL
I think we're all whinier in real life...I don't know where my comment went...not sure what I wrote at this point anyway...
SI- I think ppl misunderstood what I meant in that post. I am gonna explain when I get a chance.
Would you call my description of a NS accurate? (I mean the way they talk) Don't forget I don't know what it's like!
Ummm...I actually don't know. The shadchanim my mother and I have dealt with, while they were perfectly useless were harmless...you're more likely to get a date from a WMF than through an official shadchan.
Yes, in my family we ate not very big believers in PSs. (proffessional shadchanim). All of my married siblings met their spouses thru a WMS not a NS...
The bad turns to the ugly when a bird delivers his baggage onto your head and hand and purse. Now THAT'S a dating horror story for you right there.
BC- I have learned that it is considered inpolite to ask if that happened to you, right?
you are a fast learner my friend;)
Don't worry about mistakes- I think I did every mistake in the book. One guy decided I wasn't worth a second date because of them, and another guy decided to marry me anyways.
The "mistakes" are the windows that show your true personality through the veneer of looking perfect (or not) for a date.
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