EBM, or everyone but me, is a syndrome that we find quite often plaguing the world. Everyone but me has cute shoes, everyone but me is talented, everyone but me has a million friends, Everyone's father but mine buys them their own car. Everyone but me goes on a date with a different "best bochur" every night. (is that a good thing???) Everyone. Ya right.
NIMBY, or not in my backyard, is sort of the opposite, but it actually goes hand in hand with EBM. There are people in this world who can't afford to buy shoes?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who live in an environment where they don't have the freedom to use their talents?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who cry themselves to sleep every night out of sheer loneliness?? NIMBY! There are people in this world who don't have any legs and therefore can't drive?? NIMBY! And there are people in this world who have never been on a date in their lives???? Absolutely NIMBY!!
Isn't it strange? We have ALL of these problems, yet the people who suffer so much more than us are NIMBY. Not in my backyard, not anywhere close enough to make me feel uncomfortable with my bounty of good.
Sometimes I think people would be so much happier if people would forget to complain about EBM, and at the same time realize that these things are IMBY (in my backyard). Doesn't it make things easier to internalize this?
(by the way, I am speaking to my little sister right now, because she thinks her life is the pits.)
6 comments:
NIMBY...everything is NIMBY! welcome to the frum world...
You are opening my eyes little sheep.
But I disagree with you. There are people who are empathetic and who appreciate what they have. If it's more prevelant in the frum workd it's cuz people try to shelter their kids...to a point...
not very successfully mostly! the best way to shelter kids (take note of this for your own) is to TELL them what's out there from a torah perspective and say "this is the TORAH'S view on _______. if you hear anything from someone else that doesn't fit with what i told you, it probably IS NOT the torah view, and you should come ask me about it, so i can explain it to you properly." and yes, i heard of a rav (from someone who is close to this particular rav) whose father did this with him. the rav (well, he wasn't a rav then) had already known most of what he was told, but now he knew which parts of what he "knew" was torah, and which not. if that makes any sense...
Thats excellent advice. Really. I'm gonna email this to myself so I'll have it. I always say the most dangerous thing in the world is "just a little knowledge". Did you ever hear about gitty grunwald? It's a sad sad story and I think that was the root of the problem. Too little knowledge. Your children will hear stuff, so you might as well present it first, in your way. Kind of like in court, it's better to go first- present your argument to the judge before the other guy gets his two cents in...
i never heard it, no. but when i googled it, i got news stories from outside sources, and a blog, that's not written by her. so i don't trust the info! (hey, outside-secular sources wouldn't get my story right, and neither would someone else posting it on their blog!)
Read the story in new York magazine. See just how sickeningly wrong they got it...
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