I am going to finish up my train of thought of my previous posts with this final theory. I don't know if I am making sense with all these theories, in fact, I kinda doubt I am. But maybe this will help clarify things for you, regarding the previous posts also.
"Would you compromise in shiduchim?"
It's a common question, which I face often. And my answer is, always, "Absolutely NOT!" Are you surprised? Why? Would I be expected to compromise? Why? ;) Ok, I know why you may think so, but listen to me first.
Yes, I would be willing to marry a boy with a "BUT", even a boy with TBB. But it's not a compromise. Here's why.
All day, every day, Hashem is busy making shiduchim. Forty days before I was born, he decided who I am going to marry and when I'm going to marry him. Now the issue is getting us together. He's there. I'm here. But we need to match. Imagine each couple is a two piece puzzle. Whatever ridges and grooves there are in me (my piece of the puzzle), have to correspond to whatever ridges and grooves he has. Think about it! It's a massive job, one that would only be able to be done properly by the Master Planner himself.
How can we get SD and DPC to be compatible? Well, if SD has been and changed in xyz way, then she needs a boy who has been through ----- and has changed similarly. Not as a result of diabetes, but some other things I've been through, I don't think I would be able to marry a boy who hasn't matured (in my way). We simply wouldn't be very compatible. I have bumps on my puzzle piece. Don't get me wrong. These are bumps that have made me into a better person. But, I have them, and they ain't going away. I need someone who has them too.
It's as simple as that. I don't call it a compromise. It's a matter of fitting together.
Would I compromise? No, I wouldn't marry a lesser boy. Yes, I would marry a BETTER boy.
It's as simple as that.
So, back to our discussion:
~Have I changed?
~Is change even good?
~How do you define maturity?
Here is my answer(s):
~Yes I have changed.
~Change can be good or bad depending on what kind of change.
~ Change is good if it leads to maturity.
~ I wouldn't compromise, but I WOULD marry a more mature boy.
Did that make any sense? Probably not, but it's as much sense as I can make, as this is my view of things, take it or leave it.... :-)