Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Ulterior Motive

Don't tell anybody, but I've got a confession. I think I want to get engaged for totally wrong reasons.

I mean, it sure ain't the jewelry. I don't care for shiny things. (Perhaps if they'd institute a Kallah iPod instead of the Kallah bracelet that would entice me.) And, once we are being sickeningly honest, I might as well mention that I am completely terrified of getting a daimond ring. I don't think I've ever had a ring that lasted more than a month before it retired itself to the Great Missing Jewelry Bureau in the Sky.

I certainly don't needa experience the brido-sapienism thing, cuz frankly I'm guessing that lack of concentration and spacey-ness is something similar to a low blood sugar (minus the shakiness, dizziness, and racing heart - I hope) and I hate when that happens.

And while sure all the typical reasons are factors in my desire to get engaged, that's not what causes my real burning desire to get engaged. Again, I am sure I shouldn't be admiting this to the world wide web, but I'm a VERY curious person.

Am I the only single who will admit to being deathly curious about what kind of guy that I'm gonna marry? People love to speculate about my dude.

"You're probably going to marry a quiet guy, SD. Like, you'll be the louder of the two." Others have an entirely different perspective on the matter. "SD, I wanna be around when you are married. You two are going to be one hilarious couple." And then there are those who simply get on my nerves by adding to my curiosity. "I wonder what kinda guy you are gonna marry SD. Do you ever wonder?"

And of course, there is the ever-present question. The one we are expected to have an answer to at the snap of a finger, much like a trained dog or perhaps a circus animal. "What type of guy are you looking to marry?" How in the world am I supposed to know? I haven't met him yet!

Sometimes my curiosity is burning. It's not that I'm lovestruck (again, I haven't met him yet, unless he is my friends five month old baby, or my neighbor's seven year old son that I used to babysit for. I'm pretty sure those are the only guys I've ever been introduced to.) It's just one of those things that I think of in specific situations. I might be deliberating over my order in the ice cream store when I'll suddenly get this burst of curiosity. "I wonder what flavors of ice cream he likes." Or when I am still up at 2 am. "I wonder if my dude will be (horrors) an early to bed early to rise sort of guy." And of course, when I see people serving (gag) gefilte fish. "Whoever he is I sincerely hope he doesn't like fish. If he does, he is cooking it himself. And serving it himself. And clearing, washing dishes and disinfecting my fridge by himself. He just doesn't know it yet."

So yeah, I wanna get engaged for a bunch of reasons. But right now I'm just so curious. What is he like?


Frayda said...

Good post. Oddly enough, I never wondered what type of guy I was going to marry.

tembow said...

everyone is curious about what their husband/wife will be like

Anonymous said...

So, what type of boy do you want?

itsagift said...

Your whole post made me curious! LOL - I was like, what is the reason already??
I don't think anyone wants to get engaged just so they could walk around with a diamond ring/bracelet! I think that would be quite silly - to want to get engaged just for the jewelry! There's so much more to it!

And btw, most guys like fish - so good luck to you! You can train him to take care of the fishy parts of your kitchen by himself though!!

Anonymous said...

More important than me, I want to know what type of guys my friends will end up with!

Bz said...

well well... I'd say at least 50% of guys get married for ulterior motives... I mean common... why are there so many jokes like the 3 rings of marriage? If you get married for ulterior motives, then obviously you've got a watered down experience of what marriage should be.

Kind of ironic that if you get engaged if you're curious then you're not actually fulfilling your curiosity - curiosity kills the cat?

Sorry... rambling a bit - my comments are just that - comments - or more like what your post made me think about. This is not a reflection on your motives at all, but a general ..... rambling?

badforshidduchim said...

I wonder what kind of guy you're going to marry. Don't you ever wonder?

I don't want to marry one who is a kind of guy, just a kind guy.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully you'll marry:

Someone you are attracted to, who can bring out the goodness in you and you them.

Someone you can build and grow with.

Someone who will admire, love and cherish you without wanting to change you (too much).

Someone you'll want to make gefilte fish for (if they really like it) but
Someone who won't ask you for it because they know how much you dislike it.

Someone different.

IY"H You should find each other soon together with all those seeking to build their bayis nee'man b'yisroel

Anonymous said...

I abhor fish- the smell, the feel, and thank G-d I have never had to endure the taste! However, since I am married and have a husband and guests who love it, I am here to bear testament to the fact that it's doable. There are things called food handling gloves, and you keep scores of them in the vicinity, and there's always a clothespin for the nose. Then there's hubby to wash the dishes that are generated as a result of the cooking process. I even use a glove to cut the gefilte fish once cooked. Life isn't too bad as a result. It has worked quite well for me thus far. :)

Shades of Grey said...

I can attest to the the fact that, as a guy, I'm not the biggest fan of fish and would never, ever, complain if my future wife failed to serve it even once during the course of our (hopefully) long and happy marriage. Having said that, I do eat gefilte fish and the occasional bit of cooked salmon (depending on the occasion and if there isn't much else to eat). Sushi is also fun from time to time, but only in roll form and not the lump of raw sea creature flesh variety.

While there are crazy stories out there of people marrying someone they would never, in their right mind, have imagined could possibly be their spouse, I would tend to think most people marry someone that matches at least some, if not most of the (important) characteristics that they themselves are looking for. Details like food preference, waking/sleeping times, and favorite music are the luck of the draw, it would seem.

ynot said...

My fiance is from the country i live in, although i was almost 100% sure i'd never marry someone of this nationality (sounds silly, but that's what i was. lol)

הצעיר שלמה בן רפאל לבית שריקי ס"ט said...

I used to wonder what kind of girl I might marry, but all that does is create needless expectations, when in reality you’ll end up marrying an outgoing Ethiopian librarian from Kiryat Ono. there’s no reason to limit yourself...

By the way, fish rocks! But gefilte fish a manifestation of everything that’s evil in the world..

Ariella said...

Things like gefilte fish are very inconsequential in a marriage. My husband won't touch it, but I do make it some times because most of my children like it and some guests may expect it. It's really not a big deal.

Something Different said...

Frayda- No fair, and you're the one who is actually married. :-P

Tembow- Apparently not. See above.

Anon- A tzadik. Do you know him?

IAG- I prefer to train him to stay away from fish altogether. But I guess if he wants to cook fish he can, he just has to promise to do it when I am not home, and clean up all traces of it when he is done. And he has to double wrap it so it wont contaminate my fridge.

Anon- I see that making you curious, but more than yourself?

BZ- Rambling is fine. Ramble on. And yeah, so what are those ulterior motives?

B4S- Lol, why am I not surprised to hear that from you?
And yeah, good point. :-)

Anon- Amein! What a nice bracha, tho I really don't think I will be willing to cook gefilte fish for anyone. Maybe I will let him single wrap it in my fridge, but that's the extent.

Anon- Can't be you hate it as much as me. Worst comes to worst, we can buy some at the local takeout.

SOG- I know some people (such as my sister) who married people totally opposite what they were looking for. It happens...

Ynot- Which country? And yeah, my sister-in-law promised she would never marry a guy who is xyz and my brother fits the bill for every one of the things she wouldn't consider in a guy. So there.

WYNI- Cant disagree more about the fish, cant agree more about the gefilte fish.

Ariella- True, but I really can't touch it. like i said, take out might have to be the solution.