This grocery line is taking forever. Oh, there, two lines over. Isn't that Mrs. Grossman, the high school teacher?
Yes, it is her. Let's hope she doesn't notice me. I don't like her. She is the teacher who almost gave me my only detention in four years of high school. It took all of my charm to wiggle out of that one.
I really don't have time for a confrontation now. She will want to hear what has transpired in the &@%# years since I graduated. I don't feel like discussing it with her. Maybe this lady with the heaping cart will let me go ahead? No, she doesn't look friendly.
Mrs. Grossman is looking around. She's gonna notice me in a minute. Ok, she's looking in my direction. Here we go. Now the glimmer of recognition is on her face. I guess I didn't change much since high school.
Why is she pausing. Oh, I'm getting the look-over. I hope I pass. She's looking down. Oh man. I'm wearing my shortest skirt today. But I lost weight. It falls lower! I know it's long enough, I looked three times in the mirror before I left my house.
She must agree, her eyes are headed back up. To my face. To my eyeliner. It's all BigChamor's fault Mrs. Grossman! She's the one who forces me to wear eyeliner every morning. "It makes your eyes stand out so much more," she had said. But that's exactly what Mrs. Grossman's anti-eyeliner speeches were always about. Making your eyes stand out. C'mon, Mrs. Grossman! My eyeliner isn't that dark!
Ok, she agrees. Her eyes have moved back down. What is it this time? My shoes are aidel. We already established that my skirt is long enough, right?
Ok, that was quick. Eyes are back up to my head. Oh man, how could I forget? My wet hair! Mrs Grossman had a campaign against that too! But Mrs. Grossman, I just came back from the gym. Not showering would be a complete lack of Kovod Habriyos, and you waged a war against people who were lacking in that front too, right? See, I'm really being GOOD Mrs. Grossman!
Finally, she's talking again.
"How are you?"
"Baruch Hashem, I'm doing good."
Big smile. Keep it there. Smile bigger. I said Baruch Hashem, see, I'm good Mrs. Grossman. Can I finish paying and go now?
She looks like she is trying to think of a way to continue this conversation. I better get ahead of her. Ok, I can sign the credit card slip. Slowly. Think of a strategy. Ok, that might work. Pick head up high. Walk past her lane, toward door.
She is finished putting the groceries on the belt. Do it, now, before you lose your courage!
"Goodbye Mrs. Grossman."
She is looking up. Now. Do it. Look down. Scrutinize her shoes. Yes, they are the same shoes she wore in tenth grade. Now up. Look at her sheitel. Wow. She changed it. It looks like she finally caught up to the style she missed in tenth grade. Now back down. And up, one more time.
"Have a good day!"
Make grand escape, now. Ignore Mrs. Grossman's trademark "look" that is probably fixed on my back.