What happens when you take a blob of something different and you force it into the cookie cutter world of shiduchim?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Top Ten Reasons To Say No To A Second Date
Ever tried to say no to another date with a guy, but the shadchan was a PS of the pushiest sort, and would hear nothing of it? An expert in the field, Bad4 helped me come up with some excuses to try for this week's Top Ten Tuesday:
10) "His eating habits are too complex. I just couldn't cook for him."
9) "He is sickeningly hairy. Ugh. Just ugh. Sorry... Oh, and tell him that before he goes out with another girl he might want to check out Brookstone's sale on nose-hair trimmers."
8) "Anivusdik isn't the word. He spent half of the night telling self depreciating stories. I got it. He's crud. Next time set me up with someone who has a little self worth."
7) "Not to insinuate that he's cheap, but haggling over four cents with the waiter seemed to be a little much, dontcha think?"
6) "His IQ is about comparable to his age, which doesn't say much for either."
5) "I wouldn't want my in-laws moving in with me, you know what I mean? I'm saying...they didn't just happen to be in the same restaurant as us, did they?"
4) "Nothing personal, but I really look down at him. Literally."
3) "Erm, when you told me that he is about 29, you meant give or take fifteen years, right?"
2) "I don't want to insinuate that he lives above his means, but should a checkout boy really be driving a Lamborghini?"
1) "I get queasy when I think about the way our kids would look."