I think that is the best way to describe the lady I spoke to at the wedding last week. In the world of Nosey Shadchanim and Well Meaning Individuals, she probably ranks highest on the stupidity scale. We have all encountered her at some point or another. Her actions are similar to those of the Well Meaning Friend who said, in a voice dripping with empathy and sympathy, upon discovering my new status as a person with type one diabetes, "Oh, I know how awful diabetes is. My grandmother died from it." I truly felt comforted by her kind words. Finally, I was able to sleep at night without tossing and turning, worrying that nobody has died yet from my condition. What if I will be the first? I may become a medical anomaly!
In plain English, she is called The Chizuk Lady. The very same woman who pulled you into the dance circle, clucking because it's so hard for you to dance at the wedding of a girl two years younger than yourself. She is the woman that seeks you out when you step into the restroom, happy to provide a tragedy of the shidduch crisis with some important and uncommon company. And of course, she is the woman that gives you those beautiful little pearls of chizuk. No, not "Im yirtzeh Hashem by you!" That is so cliche already. She has new bits of chizuk to share. Gems like "I am telling you, as hard as it is for you to feel, always remember, Yeshuas Hashem k'heref ayin!" She then reminds you not to get down, after all, your time will come too, and everything is bashert.
G-d has granted me with the gift of patience. The gift of being able to smile and nod as the woman continued to shower me with heaps of unwanted chizuk. The gift of holding my tongue, of not telling her "Oh, you know, I hadn't even thought of getting depressed about this! But now that you mention it, it is kinda depressing that the kallah tonight is two years younger than me, isn't it?" But I don't know if it was such a good idea to stay silent. This woman clearly needs a talking to. She needs to have someone explain to her that a young girl in her early twenties is not necessarily depressed, just because she is single. And she needs someone to explain to her that if she doesn't shut up and stop reminding the single girls how much younger the kallah is, someone might just get depressed. She needs someone to explain to her that most chizuk in the matter of being single is unwanted and unnecessary, but such chizuk is particularly undesirable when it comes from a fat grandmother in her fifties. Maybe I should have done it...damage control, y'know?
Can someone please tell me that I am not the only one who's met The Chizuk Lady? What did she tell you?