I am not really sure why I never published this, cuz I wrote it months ago, and I am not sure how applicable it is now, but in any case, here you go:
It wasn't long after the wedding of one of my closest friends, that I found myself on the phone with an old friend, someone I hadn't spoken with much in the couple of months prior to that.
We had an interesting dialogue:
Friend: I was expecting you to call one of these days!
SD: you were?
Friend: yes. Now that [insert name of close friend here] got married, I figures you'd be bored...ya know.
SD: well, erm, I guess I am but... [feels uneasy]
Friend: but what?
SD: but I guess it's a little cheesy. I mean, the minute my friend gets married I should go and remember about all the friends I've lost contact with over the years?
Friend: sure, why not? Isn't that the way everyone does it?
SD: but that's so see-through!
We went on to discuss the pros and cons of this, and came to the conclusion that faking it is not a good idea either. Face it, your friend has gotten married, that's not quite a secret. And unless your friendship was a secret, people are going to realize that the person who you spent a lot of your free time with, the person with whom you used to speak multiple times each day, is now spending her time with some guy that she barely knows. No matter what brilliant excuse you might drum up to reconnect with old friends, she will see through the whole thing.
And so, we came to the joint conclusion that it's best to be upfront about the whole thing. "Hi Devorah! We haven't spoken in ages, but I was wondering if you wanted to get together one of these days?"
It might sound ridiculous, but remember, your friend, assuming she is your age, is also watching many of her friends and acquaintances tie the knot, and needs your company now too.
So I've been reconnecting with some old friends, reconnecting with those that are married long enough, (Humph, that's for you!) and getting to know some new people. But I wonder what other people's take on this is. If you've been through this phase, how did you deal with it? Did you think it was a little transparent when your old friends reconnected with you after close friend's weddings? Did you do it to others? Do you find it insulting? Or more of a relief?